Nostalgia: Whatever Happened to … Don “The Caveman” Robinson?

Don “The Caveman” Robinson was the workhorse of the Giants pitching staff from 1987-1991. In his five years with the Giants, Robinson’s ERA numbers were as follows: 2.74, 2.45, 3.43, 4.57 and 4.38. A control pitcher with a substantial amount of girth (6-4, 231), Robinson led the league in walks per nine innings in 1989, with a rate of 1.69:1. And he sported those cool 80s stirrups and baggy sleeves.

But the thing Robinson was probably best known for? Well, other than his nickname, he was a really, really good hitting pitcher. He was a regular pinch-hitter and even hit a homerun as a pinch-hitting-pitcher. That’s gotta be some record. He was a three-time Silver Slugger winner, honoring the best hitting pitcher in the league.

We have no idea what happened to Don Robinson since he retired in 1992. Sorry.

Don Robinson [Baseball Almanac]

Warriors (Got) Beat: Well, That Worked Out Well

In honor of the Warriors-Suns national broadcast last night, we decided to keep a running diary:

10:49pm ET: Just turned on the computer as the game starts. Nothing screams single guy like eating Chinese food and having a beer while typing on the laptop at 10:45 on a weeknight. Oh well. A Warriors victory will quell the depression. They have already scored 15 unanswered. 9:20 left in the 1st Quarter. 18-6 Warriors. Reggie Miller says this is a glorified pickup game. D’Antoni just called a timeout after a JRich three. The Warriors are totally going to the playoffs behind this new small-small ball lineup, with four guards (Baron, Ellis, JRich, Crazy Steve) and Al Harrington. Brilliant, Nellie, brilliant!

10:52: That Team USA commercial comes on. I think of the same two things every time: Carmelo Anthony saying he’s an ambassador to the game. This is the same Carmelo who was featured with drug dealers and, um, witness intimidators in that Stop Snitchin’ dvd and who then sucker punched and ran away from a second-round draft pick? And what is Brad Miller doing in that commerical? They couldn’t get anyone better? Not even Kirk Hinrich for the token white guy?

Warriors (Got) Beat: National Television + Playoff Hopes = ?

Big game tonight. Big game.

The Warriors tip off at 10:30ET on TNT against the first-place Phoenix Suns. The Bolt-Boys (sounds like a … nevermind) have lost two in a row, but still sit a game and a half out of the final playoff spot occupied by the Los Angeles Clippers.

With the ClipShow idle tonight, a victory tonight would position the Warriors a game behind. The Clippers then have Sacramento and Portland back to back, while the Warriors don’t play until Sunday evening, when they play the worst team in the league, Memphis.

A lot is riding on this weekend. We’re going out on a limb and saying that if the Warriors win tonight, then they’re going to get that mythical playoff berth. If not, well, then their playoff hopes will end up like Nikki and Paulo on Lost: buried and dead. In that order.

The Soccer Post: United States Can Only Defeat Central America Economically

Soccer gazetteer Brendan McCarthy is an avid fan, a prolific goal scorer in his recreational semi-pro league and an all-around metahuman. Residing in “Texas,” he continues to follow the game he loves (along with about seventy gabillion other people). Brendan will share his thoughts about fútbol on a regular basis here at Say Hey. His words follow.

U.S. 0 Guatemala 0

You know what really upset me about this game? Guatemala. From their line-up to their play to their demeanor, the Guatemalan desired outcome was a nil-nil draw from the moment they boarded their plane in Guatemala City (clever name). If truly that is the case, then we might as well say, “Guatemala wins!!!” But wait, this was not the opening match of the Gold Cup in June, nor was it a part of World Cup qualifying. No, it was just a friendly; a meaningless game played to learn more about a country’s players and abilities and an opponent’s players and abilities. So, naturally, the Central Americans guarded the goal with nearly all eleven players in the oh-so-classic 4-5-1 formation. The one man up front, Carlos Ruiz, in between falling down and grabbing appendages, heroically carried the offense against the North Americans with maybe two shots from 30 yards out.

McDonald’s All-American Game Teaches Us That OJ Mayo Sucks And Ronald McDonald Is Fat & Creepy

And today’s winner for “creepiest clown photo” goes to …

Anyway, last night was the annual McDonald’s All-American game, showcasing the best high-school hoopsters from around the nation. Kansas St-bound Michael Beasley earned MVP honors as the West beat the East 114-112. UCLA top recruit Kevin Love looked good as well, adding 13 points and six rebounds.

But the real story was the all-around ineptitude of OJ Mayo. As you might be able to tell, we have a little bias against the USC-bound kid, but we’re not the only ones. Mayo, who has received created an inordinate amount of hype with his prima donna ways, went 4 for 17 from the floor and missed the potential game-winner. Also, the crowd booed him, which is nice. Nothing like despising a teenager. Come to think of it, we liked OJ Mayo better when he was named JR Rider.

Mayo falls short at McDonald’s game [ESPN]

Giants Roundup: “Predicting The Season And How Badly It Will Go” Edition

• Ray Ratto looks into his crystal ball and tells us how the Season of 756 will play out, and you know, we can see pretty much all of it happening. [SFGate]
• Sports Illustrated picked the Giants to finish dead last. Sabean thinks this year’s squad is like the 1997 team that finished first after last place predictions. The difference, in our opinion, is that Stan Javier isn’t on this year’s version. [SFGate]
• Kevin Correia is only having a bad time on the mound this spring if you consider an 8.44 ERA “bad.” [Inside Bay Area]
• Reason #4231 to like Barry Zito: prior to leaving Arizona yesterday, he bought steak-and-potato meals for all 250 players, coaches and personnel. Good Barry 1, Bad Barry 0. [sfgiants]
• According to Peter Gammons, “the Giants have it in writing that Barry Bonds will do dugout press briefings the first day of a road series, to try to lessen the congestion in the San Francisco clubhouse.” Um, thanks? Good Barry 2, Bad Barry 0. [ESPN Insider]
• And, since everyone liked Deadspin’s A’s Preview, here’s the Giants’ version. [Deadspin]

Nostalgia: Whatever Happened to … Luke Whitehead?

Luke Whitehead came to San Francisco sometime in the fall of 1996. He arrived at St. Ignatius College Prep as the next Kevin Garnett, a freshman prodigy. He dominated the WCAL, even as a freshman, and led SI in some very successful years. Prior to his senior year, he bolted the Bay to play at a fancy hoops academy (Oak Hill, VA), only to resurface soon thereafter at the University of Louisville. Under Rick Pitino, Whitehead averaged 9.10 points per game while enjoying solid playing time throughout his four years, including Third Team All-Conference honors in his final season.

After his college career, Whitehead did not get drafted by an NBA team. He tried out for some teams (including the Clippers) before the 2004 season to no avail.

In 2006, Whitehead was a seventh-round draft pick by the NBA Development League’s Sioux Falls Skyforce. He was waived on December 19, 2006.

And he fell on his head once. Ouch.

And You Thought The Giants Had The Worst Closer In The League

Sometimes, we give Armando Benitez a hard time, even though he’s having a stellar spring (allegedly). But the next time Big Bennie blows a save–and don’t worry, it’ll happen–be grateful that Ugueth Urbina is not the Giants’ closer.

Ugueth Urbina, a two-time All-Star closer, won the 2003 World Series as the bullpen force for the Marlins. He’s 30th on the all-time saves list.

And he’ll be in jail for the next fourteen years. Hey, that’s what happens when you get charged with attempted murder in Venezuela:

Urbina, a former pitcher with the Montreal Expos, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers and Philadelphia Phillies, was also found guilty of illegal deprivation of liberty and violating a prohibition against taking justice into his own hands during a dispute over a gun on Oct. 16, 2005, according to a statement from the Attorney General’s Office.

The 33-year-old free agent was accused of joining a group of men in attacking and injuring workers with machetes and pouring gasoline on them at his family’s ranch, located about 25 miles south of Caracas.

Urbina’s “alibi”? He was “sleeping at the time.” Note to Ugueth: think of better alibi next time you attack people with gasoline and swords. Note to self: don’t trespass in Venezuela.

Urbina sentenced to prison Venezuela [ESPN]

Funny Looking People Are Funny

In preparation for this weekend’s Final Four matchups, the good folks at the BruinReportOnline have been having a lot of fun with Photoshop and Joakim Noah photos.

On the other side of the coin, UCLA’s resident “looker” Lorenzo Mata has a large following of lady fans, including this one who dedicated an entire site to The Mat-inator. Real or fictitious? You decide.

A’s Roundup: Debbie Downer Edition

• Carl Seward really just took all the suspense out of the upcoming baseball season by titling his article “A’s, Giants unlikely to be in playoffs.” Since we know what’s going to happen, we guess we’ll have to watch the WNBA instead. [Inside Bay Area]
• A reminder that ballplayers are people too. They have feelings and families. It’s hard being on the road all the time. [Official Site]
• Leigh alumnus Jason Windsor (remember him?) was sent down to the minors, thereby eliminating him from the competition for the fifth starter spot. [The Drumbeat]
• Bobby Crosby had a terrible debut. But that’s actually a good thing. [Official Site]
• Finally, one of the better team previews out there. [Deadspin]

The Soccer Post: Just In Case You Missed The National Team’s Impressive Win Against The Ecuadorians …

Soccer gazetteer Brendan McCarthy is an avid fan, a prolific goal scorer in his recreational semi-pro league and an all-around metahuman. Residing in “Texas,” he continues to follow the game he loves (along with about seventy gabillion other people). Brendan will share his thoughts about fútbol on a weekly basis here at Say Hey. His words follow.

I am sure you were wide awake well before the 12 p.m. ET kickoff time—applying the stars and stripes over a bowl of Cheerios and/or trying out your fresh, new blue Nike fits, preparing for the most sublime day of days: U.S. Soccer Sunday. So, needless to say, you are very aware of what a tremendous display the young men of United States Soccer put on for you and me against Ecuador. But just in case … just in case, let me walk you through the most meaningful meaningless game so far on the fledgling road to 2010 South Africa.

The score first: 21-7 United States. 21-7? How is that possible? Well, in a new twist to make soccer more interesting to the American public, goals are now worth 7 points. Want more high scoring games? Fake it like American football! … Just kidding, of course. But the real score, 3-1, was absolutely high enough for those who stumbled upon ESPN2 on Sunday. Forty-five seconds into the game, Landon Donovan ripped a left-footed shot into the back right of the net. ‘Twas a stunning opening to a competitive game. It could have turned out so differently; another boring opening 50 minutes of little shooting and mistimed passing—Landon passing up opportunity after opportunity, frustrating fan after fan. Instead, the newly-married Donovan seemed to rise to the occasion of his captaincy, proving that when he is ON, he is the best player on the field.

Nostalgia: Whatever Happened to … Jim Druckenmiller?

Jim Druckenmiller was the 49ers’ first round pick in the 1997 draft. Out of Virginia Tech, he was the prototype quarterback: strong armed, tall (6-4) and poised under pressure. He was the heir apparent to the Joe Montana-Steve Young legacy. Then he proceeded to suck.

After just two seasons, the Niners traded him to Miami, where he was soon released because he sucked. Pro Football Reference sums up Druck’s career best:

Jim Druckenmiller never finished in the top 10 in any major category.

Jim Druckenmiller is not in the all-time top 50 in any major category.

But the Jim Druckenmiller story really gets good after his three long years of NFL service benchwarming. He was signed by the Arena Football League’s Los Angeles Avengers, where he was the backup quarterback and amassed this career stat line: 5 of 13 for 82 yards and one interception.

Once the Arena Football League didn’t work out (you know you’re a bad football player when … ), Druck kept at the dream and signed with the XFL’s Memphis Maniax. He “led” the Maniax to a record of 5-5. After the XFL folded, he tried to make the Indy Colts roster, but alas, his comeback attempt was for naught.

Because he sucked.

Jim Druckenmiller [wikipedia]

Warriors (Got) Beat: So, About Last Night …

Instead of doing our usual recap of the latest attempt by the Warriors to miss the playoffs for a thirteenth consecutive year, we’ll let the guys over at Golden State of Mind (one of our favorite blogs) sum up the Warriors-Spurs fiasco last night:

The third quarter just ended. San Antonio has scored 102 points. We got outscored 29 to 12. Al Harrington has 1 point on 0-5 shooting. Jason Richardson has 0 points on 0-7 shooting. We are currently 3 for 18 from beyond. The Warriors are down 36 points.

The only good thing about that quarter was my bowl of Kix. Well, at least the half of it that I didn’t throw at the television.

The end result: a close 126-89 loss. The Lightning Bolts are now a full two games out of the last spot.

San Antonio 126, Golden State 89 [Yahoo!]

Clip Of The Day: Ode To The Dream

As expected, we’ve been watching a lot of college hoops lately, and with all the (mostly deserved) attention given towards this current crop of big men–Greg Oden, Joakim Noah, Al Horford, Roy Hibbert and Lorenzo Mata (what?)–we would like to remind everyone who’s forgotten about Hakeem Olajuwon just how great The Dream was. Watch the video. There is no one–college or pro–who can come close to the things he does.

The Coolest Bay Area Sports Figures

Because we can only make fun of professional athletes for so long, here’s our preliminary list of the coolest Bay Area sports figures … leave your nominations.

10. Dale Davis: Now, choosing a “cool Golden State Warrior” is kind of like choosing an intelligent quote by George W. Bush; there just aren’t many options. With that said, Dale Davis was pretty badass scary. Our buddy B summed up Dale Davis best when he described him as “walking onto the floor like he’s wearing a beanie and has an AK-47 in one hand and a pistol in the other.” Plus, Davis totally got tasered by the cops.

9. Steve Young: He was the toast of the town. Actually, he probably still is (who comes close nowadays?). Everyone knows the story. Star quarterback, a well-spoken lawyer, good looking and single and to top it all off, he’s left-handed.