Randy Messenger is the most popular San Francisco Giant today.
Last night, the Giants traded embattled sucky closer Armando Benitez to the Florida Marlins in exchange for Messenger, a little known reliever. The move marks a huge sigh of relief for Giants fans everywhere.
But who is Randy Messenger?
- He’s the guy who punched a teammate (Scott Olson) in the face.
- In the grand tradition of Pacman Jones, Messenger enjoys MAKING IT RAIN!!!
- He once played for the
SpringfieldAlbuquerque Isotopes. - He enjoys basketball and music.
- He could talk, or not talk, for hours.
- He had a taco feast in the Mission with his estranged father Ralph Barbieri last night. Tolbert was there too, but couldn’t hear a thing, on account of his earplugs.
- The Miami Sports Dude think Messenger is, like, so hot. Too bad for Messenger there are no gay people in San Francisco.
- Did we mention he enjoys making it rain? Let’s keep him away from Stephen Jackson.
June 1, 2007 at 9:33 am
Good news: We rid ourselves of Benitez. Bad news: We’re still in last place, or second to last.
Question: If Hennesey can’t close, do we throw Lincecum into the fire? Answer: Yes. He’d be unstoppable. Who was/is the Reds closer that also looks like a 15 year old?
Were the Springfield Isotopes close to moving to Albuquerque? Wait, no, I think it was Sante Fe.
June 1, 2007 at 9:49 am
Russ Ortiz, closer?
June 1, 2007 at 10:35 am
No way. Anyone in the minors? Though, the way Ortiz pitched the other night was very, very impressive. He’s got the cojones, the junk, and the nightly/daily durability to pitch. So maybe. Wow, I really came around on my opinion in this reply.
June 1, 2007 at 10:42 am
brazil vs england today 3pm et. beckham’s warm-up for his messiah game against estonia (!) next wednesday.
usa vs china at stanford tomorrow night. some youngsters and some euros face off against the top 11 from a billion person nation. imagine the tryouts for that squad!
hangover united vs soccerzone fc 8am ct on sunday. b-lo dominates against a very talented group, single-footedly carrying his team to early morning glory.
June 1, 2007 at 10:54 am
If someone gets thrown into the fire as the new closer, my vote is for Jonathan Sanchez.
June 1, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I’ll vote for Patrick Misch, who is quietly having a good season in Fresno.
June 1, 2007 at 3:57 pm
“Were the Springfield Isotopes close to moving to Albuquerque? Wait, no, I think it was Sante Fe.”
It was Albuquerque. That was a classic episode.
June 1, 2007 at 3:58 pm
And I vote for Lincecum. He would dominate in the closer role.
June 1, 2007 at 3:59 pm
What is the minimum denomonation you can throw and still be considered a “rainmaker”? Any truth to the rumor that Barbieri has already slept with him and is going to run him out next?
June 1, 2007 at 4:04 pm
He also has a funky curve and flat fastball. I’ve been wanting to get rid of him for a long time. Considering it’s pretty much a salary dump I don’t mind exchanging one Mess for another Mess.
Enjoy him!
June 1, 2007 at 4:45 pm
As a Marlins fan, I agree with JD. I also agree with Ryan. Lincecum is nasty and would make a serious closer for you guys.
And by the way, I personally do not find Randy Messenger, or any man for that matter, hot. I was quoting a stripper that saw him “making it rain” at her club. Just don’t want Tim Hardaway hating me.
So to sum up:
-Messenger and Benitez both suck but should do ok in their new surroundings.
-I think Lincecum should close for you guys.
-Not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Thanks for linking to my blog
June 1, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Kudos on the Best in Show reference. But does he have two left feet?
June 1, 2007 at 7:58 pm
[...] Randy Messenger: The Man, The Myth, The RAINMAKER! [image] Randy Messenger is the most popular San Francisco Giant today. Last ni [...]
June 2, 2007 at 6:47 pm
dude r u serious
August 25, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Randy’s Dad ’s name is Dale his Grandpa is Ralph not the last name u have I’m his mom