At Long Last: Kanye West’s “Barry Bonds”

Because we know you’ve been waiting for it, here is Kanye West’s song “Barry Bonds.”

Nothing makes sense about it. We’re even more out of touch with pop culture than originally thought.

“Here’s another hit, Barry Bonds…”

A Belinelli Nickname Update, Via Italy

Many of you may remember our search for a nickname for Marco Belinelli earlier this summer. We got a lot of great suggestions and the jury’s still out, so continue to submit those ideas.

In the meantime, we’ve been getting some feedback from real Italian readers, including a plethora of ideas from one Andrea Baggio. Actually, he said that most of ours–and yours–were “ridiculous,” “insulting” and “worst,” though some were OK in his Italian eyes. But, like all constructive criticism, he offered some assistance, in the form of a lot of inspired suggestions. We’re partial to “Confused.”

hi guys,
I’m an italian fan
please listen to me:

I can suggest:
-) CECCHINO” (chek-kee-no). it means “sniper”.
-) IL SANTO – (as IL MAGO for bargnani) it means “the saint”; it reminds something of otherwordly.
-) BELìN – it means “dick” “cock” in Genoa dialect but is smoth to hear. It let imagine something that slips away or better something that squeezes on everywhere.

Ummmmmm …

-) SVAMPITO it means “hare-brained” like he seems.
-) CONFUSED he seams always like that.
-) IL GUARDIANO (because he is a guard); it means”watchman”; maybe it is not the world to recognize him.

Well, Adonal Foyle won’t be able to take that nickname anymore.

-) IL GIUDIZIO it means “the judgement”
-) BELLI CAPELLI it means “nice hear” and we use that to call someone who likes to the peaople likes him.
-) IL DUCA or THE DUKE because his noble figure

Tim Hardaway does not approve of this nickname.

-) OMBRA it means “shadow”. his plays remind a killer who shoots coming from shadows.

Insert OJ Simpson joke here.

-) IL PRINCIPE it means “the prince” but it would be not original.
-) GARISENDA (Bologna has two medieval towers. the big one is Asinelli, the small one is Garisenda)
-) EMILIO (he comes from the county of Emilia, Emily)
-) SONNO it means “sleep” (you can imagine why)
-) IL SONNAMBULO it means someone who walks sleepin

Now, we’re not quite clear on some of these suggestions–particularly Belin, the towers and the “sleep” references at the end–but we do like Il Santo and Cecchino (and Confused obviously).

Anyway, with training camp on the horizon, look for a little more Warriors news around these here parts. And keep the nicknames a-coming.

Marco Belinelli Needs A Nickname [Say Hey]

And That’s The Preseason. Finally.

Thank god the preseason is over. With the preseason too long to begin with as it is, the 2007 version could not end soon enough. Let’s get this thing started and turn the page from the 49ers’ woeful August.

The 49ers looked terrible once again in last night’s 16-13 loss to the San Diego Chargers.

In particular, it was another ugly performance by Alex Smith; in almost two quarters of play, he compiled a 6.2 passer rating (23 yards, interception, fumble, one first down).

Vernon Davis, meanwhile, mocked Shawne Merriman’s “sack dance” after a reception, garnering boos from the crowd and groans from Niners fans with still-fresh memories of TO.

To make matters even worse, The Brain Trust Behind YouTube Sports didn’t even pick the Niners to make the Super Bowl. He did, however, spend all damn day putting quarters into the little machines at the local Kentucky Safeway, trying desperately to get the correct mini-helmets. Excellent props, Kige. Shake those helmets! It means you’re serious!

[Sidenote on our man-crush on Kige Ramsey: if you haven't done so, you should probably check out his blog. He writes like he speaks. According to his Monday post, Alberto Gonzalez was forced out by the liberals (aka left-wing mo-rons) in Congress!]

Giants Roundup: Stay Classy, Padres

• Colorado halted the Giants’ six-game winning streak with an 8-0 “drubbing.” Nonetheless, Bochy is proud of the way the boys in black finished up August, essentially providing a great deal of hope in an otherwise dismal season. They won 16 of 31 games over 30 days; that’s quite the busy month. Among the good things that happened during the stretch: the arrival of Rajai, 756, Zito/Cain/Lowry dominating and Hennessey’s perfect 7-for-7 saves. [SFGate]
• We meant to get to this earlier in the week, but it’s too good to let go. A guy named Ray McDonald was Barry Bonds’ high school teammate at Serra and he actually led the league in hitting during their senior year (Bonds was second). And the former Girls Softball Coach of the Year carries around a laminated official 1982 WCAL stat sheet that proves it. Al Bundy, is that you? [Deuce of Davenport]
• An excellent piece about just how remarkable Matt Cain really is. And he’s only 22. [Vegas Watch]
• But will the 2008 Giants embrace a youth movement, or will it be (another) half-hearted effort? [ESPN]
• Rawlings has made a very fancy $400 glove, but not many major leaguers have took a liking to it. Only three use it. Of course, one of them is our very own $126 million man. [Lion in Oil, via 100%]
• A case for putting Kevin Frandsen in the lineup every day for the rest of the year. What’s the worse thing that could happen? [El Lefty Malo]
• Jonathan Sanchez’s season saw him go from starter to reliever to starter to reliever and back to starter. Now he’s headed for the Arizona instructional league. Welcome to business of baseball. [SFGate]
• The Tigers’ Curtis Granderson thinks there’s a problem with minorities’ interest in baseball. [ESPN Blogs]
• Crazy Crab annihilated the Rockies’ mascot. Good work kids. Stay tuned for the next round. [Home Run Derby]
• Vinnie Chulk’s middle finger is numb from tobacco use. Yep. [SFGate]

A’s Roundup: Housecleaning Edition

• The A’s beat the Jays in 11 innings last night, but the big news of the day was the deal that saw Esteban Loaiza go to the Dodgers. Oakland will save about $7.6 million. There was talk of former Giants starter Brett Tomko coming back to the Bay in exchange for Loaiza, but the A’s decided–rightly–that they would rather give Loaiza away and save some dough than take Tomko. Meanwhile, the Dodgers designated Tomko for assignment. [SFGate]
• This season, the A’s have made an astonishing number of moves, basically overturning their entire roster. Their payroll has dropped from $80 to $60 million. [SFGate]
• AN thinks that Beane should continue to gut the team until all the high-priced talent is gone. We’re looking at you, Mike Piazza, Mark Kotsay, Bobby Crosby and Eric Chavez. [Athletics Nation]
• Who should be expected to be on the expanded 40-man roster? [Catfish Stew]
• Mark Ellis helps kids with diabetes and kids who wanna learn to read and do other good stuff too. [Official Site]
• Here’s an amazing story: Oakland’s AAA team, the Sacramento River Cats are in first place (with a five-game lead), despite being involved in 174 transactions this year. 174! [SFGate]

The Bonds Auction Does Not Start With A Bang

The online auction for Barry Bonds’ historic home runs balls isn’t going so well. To be more specific, it ain’t going.

To catch you up to speed, #755 and #756 went on auction about 24 hours ago. Baseball souvenir enthusiasts (?) will recall that #755 was caught by a plumber from La Jolla and #756 was caught by the 21-year-old kid from Queens, Matt Murphy. Initial estimates put Murphy’s ball somewhere in the half-million dollar range, which would be quite the payday for young New Yorker. Well, in theory. Why the pessimism? Well …

The online auction can be tracked at SCP Auctions and thus far, there have been more crickets and tumbleweed than bids since technically speaking, there have been zero bids:

Also, Matt Murphy tried to sell the jersey he wore during the fabled game. He put his ketchup-stained Jose Reyes jersey on the eBays for $100 and … not one person bid on it (note the special high-tech graphics):

He closed the “bidding” a couple days ago. Ouch.

The Road To History [SCP Auctions]

Danville Hates Baseball, Children And Possibly America

If the youth of America can’t play baseball, then the terrorists have already won.

But that’s exactly what’s happening just east of the Bay in Danville, where a father built a picturesque baseball field for his 11-year-old son and his Little League team. Unfortunately, despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars in the field’s construction, David Lowe did not obtain the proper permits and his (totally non-hyperbolic) neighbors complained:

The views give San Francisco’s AT&T Park a run for its money – Mount Diablo to the east, Las Trampas Regional Park to the west, old oaks all around.

Lowe calls it a “place for neighborhood children to play baseball.” His son, Greg, calls it “really cool.”

Opponents call it “Guantanamo Bay” because of its fences. The neighbors – many of whom are wealthy, though not build-your-own-ball-field wealthy – want it removed as soon as possible, rejecting Lowe’s proposal to hide it by planting tall trees …

“Is the next guy going to put a football field on the ridgeline?” neighbor Teri Rousseau asked while pointing to the black fence from her backyard.

The field was born when Lowe’s son’s team needed a coach. In order to make the scheduling work, Lowe decided to build a field on his 2.3-acre property. But neighbors complained, saying the chain-link fences and, well, grass ruined their picturesque views, because they “spent a lot of money on their houses and were counting on having a rural feel.” (Perhaps they should watch this movie.)

Despite the uproar, the field is now functional, complete with batting cages and electric/water hookups. Well for now …

Last night, the Danville Planning Commission voted 7-0 to deny permits for Lowe’s field, which means that Lowe must tear down the field and start the process over if desired. Ouch.

To be fair, it probably wasn’t the best idea for Lowe to spend all that dough to build an unapproved field and the law is the law, but at the same time, ugly and generic houses are sprouting up like weeds on picturesque ridgelines throughout the Bay. Is “Guantanamo Field” really that much worse? Is this the modern day equivalent of Mr. Pine’s Purple House?

God forbid Americans have to play and watch baseball, despite Bud Selig’s best efforts.

Won’t someone please think of the children?!

Little League baseball practice field under fire for lack of permit [SFGate]

Planners reject ball field on ridgeline [SFGate]

[Photo courtesy: Chronicle/David Paul Morris]

A Cameo On The Blog Show

We’re happy to announce that Say Hey got a nice shout-out on the 20th episode of the Washington Post Live’s Blog Show. Since it’s the last episode before Labor Day, Jamie Mottram and Dan Steinberg–two blogfathers of the sports interwebs–looked back on the best of the summer that was. Among the myriad estival highlights was our little Stomper breakdancing clip (2:35 mark). Who said that Oakland never contributed anything to civilization?

Other highlights include Mr. Met getting his bhangra on, Brady Quinn’s photo gallery of beauty and the lost YouTube of Chris Farley’s Christian Laettner recreation reimagining.

Blog Show No. 20: ‘The Summer of Blog’ [Mister Irrelevant]

Earlier: Clip Of The Day: Stomper The Elephant, Breakdance Fighting [Say Hey]

To Do: Help A Boy With Spinal Muscular Atrophy While Drinking With Giants

For those of you in San Francisco and the surrounding area, here’s an event worth going to.

Tomorrow night (Wednesday the 29th) from 7pm to closing, a host of San Francisco Giants–including but not limited to Matt Cain, Noah Lowry, Vinnie Chulk, Rich Aurilia and Tim Lincecum–will be guest-bartenders at Dolce on Broadway.

The reason for the event is Logan Severance. Logan is seven years old and suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy. His family has been through a bunch of hardships and they need a van that can accommodate Logan’s wheelchair. As if that wasn’t enough of a reason, there will also be a raffle with sports memorabilia and DJ Add1 will be doing the music.

This might be your only shot to drink with Vinnie Chulk.

Logan’s Freedom Ride [Official Site]

Dolce [Official Site]

Vote Crab In The Best Mascot Bracket

We’d like to introduce you to Home Run Derby’s Best MLB Mascot competition. The Giants have a pair of entries: in the Critter Division, Crazy Crab is a number two seed and Lou Seal is a number three seed. Oakland’s Stomper is a number two seed in the Mammal Division.

But one thing must happen: Crazy Crab must win.

In his first round, Crazy Crab is up against the Rockies’ Dinger, a pointless purple dinosaur. The polls for this round are open until Wednesday at midnight. Let’s flood the vote, people.

If you need a reminder of how great the Crab is/was, check out our Nostalgia feature on the loopy crustacean’s history (includes video).

If Crazy Crab can win this tourney, he will be forever enshrined in the consciousness of American sports fans everywhere.

A vote for the crab is a vote for peace and love.

Say “Yes” to crabs!

MLB Mascot Brackets – Crazy Crab vs Dinger [Home Run Derby]

Earlier: Whatever Happened To … Crazy Crab? [Say Hey]

Ashley Goes For A Run … “Careful Ashley Stop!”

This clip from a CFL game isn’t exactly Bay Area-related, but, uh, the CFL’s first American franchise was the Sacramento Gold Miners. So there you go.

In any event, nothing is more entertaining than a blindfolded and possibly deaf woman sprinting like there’s no tomorrow (seriously, look at those arms pumping) for a trip to … the Dominican Republic! The fact that she’s a bit, well, rotund adds no humor* to the situation whatsoever.

Along with Doug Flutie doing something and Warren Moon doing something else, “Careful Ashley Stop!” now resides in the pantheon of great, great moments in CFL history.

[Via With Leather]

*adds a good deal of humor.

The Giants And Zito Are Thriving In The Post-756 Era

The scruffy Barry Zito didn’t get the win, but the Giants beat the Rockies for their fifth win in a row while Zito continued his hot streak: seven innings, four hits, one run, seven k’s and perhaps most importantly, just one lone walk.

The Giants, in the midst of a stretch that sees them playing 30 games in 31 days, are easily playing their best ball of the year, which makes us wonder just how much of an effect the Bonds Home Run Extravaganza Circus Fun Time had on the team.

Some number-crunching:

• Pre-756, the Giants had a .432 winning percentage (48-63).
• Post-756, the Giants have a .571 winning percentage (12-9).

• Pre-756 Zito averages (24 appearances): 5.5 innings per game, 3.16 earned runs, 3.67 strikeouts, 2.62 walks
• Post-756 Zito averages (four starts): 7.0 innings per game, 1.5 earned runs, 5.75 strikeouts, 1.5 walks

• Pre-756 Zito ERA: 5.13
• Post-756 Zito ERA: 1.92

• Pre-756 Matt Cain ERA (22 starts): 3.93
• Post-756 Matt Cain ERA (four starts): 2.33

• Pre-756 Barry Bonds: .277 average, 22 HR in 384 plate appearances (17.45:1)
• Post-756 Barry Bonds: .352 average (12-34), 5 HR in 50 plate appearances (10:1)

Obviously, the sample sizes should be acknowledged, but considering that the recent surges have come against playoff contenders (Atlanta, Milwaukee, Chicago, Colorado) in the doldrums of the dog days of summer, there’s something here (optimism?) nonetheless.

Giants turn it up in eighth to beat Rockies, win 5th straight [ESPN]

Earlier: A New Bearded Wonder [Say Hey]

[Photo Courtesy: Official Site]

Nostalgia: Whatever Happened To … Dave Henderson?

Ah, the other Henderson in the Oakland outfield.

In so many ways, “Hendu” was the exact opposite of Rickey: a workmanlike, unassuming and underrated outfielder. And like the earlier-discussed Mike Aldrete, Dave Henderson had stints with both the Giants and A’s.

Born just south of the Bay in Merced, Hendu came up with the Seattle Mariners in 1981. Baseball fans around the nation probably best remember him for his ALCS-clinching home run in the ninth inning as a member of the 1986 Boston Red Sox.

During the tail end of the 1987 season, he was traded to San Francisco but after a mere 15 games in orange and black, he signed with the A’s during the offseason. In Oakland, he resurrected his career, setting career highs in average (.304), doubles (38) and hits (154). He was an All-Star in 1991 (when he hit behind Rickey Henderson).

He finished his 14-year career in 1994 after a season with the Kansas City Royals, which is enough to make anyone want to retire.

Hendu is currently a broadcaster for the Seattle Mariners. He also sponsors a host of “baseball adventures.” We will always remember Hendu for his slight resemblance to David Allen Grier.

Dave Henderson [Wikipedia]

Monday Bloody Monday: Niners’ Loss Leaves Optimism Behind (Hopefully)

With an embarrassing performance from the starting unit, the 49ers may have realized that being the sexy preseason sleeper team doesn’t mean that you’re good yet.

Ever since the experts anointed the 49ers as the team most expect to make “the jump” this year, we’ve been worried that it’s inevitable that the 49ers will disappoint. [Note: we have similar trepidation about the upcoming Warriors' season as well. We're worriers. More on the W's later in the week.]

The Niners are young. They are talented, but despite Mike Nolan’s warnings, it’s easy to see the young kids get overconfident with all the positive buzz surrounding the upcoming season. Hopefully, Saturday’s dismal first half by the starters will turn on some lightbulbs.

To recap the lows:

• The defense allowed 31 points … in the first half … to Rex “The Sex Cannon” Grossman, who was last seen being extraordinarily mediocre in the Super Bowl, fumbling away the Bears’ championship hopes.
• Alex Smith completed two–two!–passes for ten–ten!–entire yards in the first half.
• Star running back Frank Gore will go into the first game of the season without any real contact. Oh, and he already has a fumbling problem.
• If the preseason is any indication, Frank Gore has no viable backup. Gore’s current injury should be a closed book in a week or two, but in the NFL, injuries are almost a given (especially with Gore’s injury history), and the running game has been dismal without Frank-Geezy. Throw in the fact that the Niners appear to be a run-centric team, and you’ve got a developing situation.
• Just how much will the Niners miss Norv Turner? If the preseason is any indication (which it very well might not be), they will miss him a lot.

In a lot of ways, we wish the media would be centering their attention and Cinderella tales around the Arizona Cardinals or the Detroit Lions. But what’s done is done. The kids better start to realize that wins are not like media passes or attention deficit disorder; you have to earn wins.

Giants Roundup: G-Rod Shines, Gigantes Show Signs Of Life

• The Giants won for the ninth time in their last 11 games, which officially constitutes a hot streak. Well, for a last place team. Yesterday, the G-Men were led by 29-year-old rookie catcher Guillermo Rodriguez (even the Giants rookies are old), who hit his first major league home run to tie up the game. Rich Aurilia then notched the game-winning hit to sweep the Brewers. [SFGate]
• Drop by and give Matt Cain some appreciation, mmm-kay? [McCovey Chronicles]
• Our very own Ray Durham is the starting second baseman on the official* “Go Away Player Of The Year” team. [The Angry T, via Bugs & Cranks]
• In the same vein, the entire Giants lineup is really, really old. Here’s a long look at just how old the Geezers are. [Home Run Derby]
• Barry Bonds might be open to playing first base next year. [El Lefty Malo]
• Scott Ostler thinks both Bay Area managers get the thumbs down. [SFGate]
• Barry Zito is on the bump tonight against the Rockies. He’s going for his tenth win and third straight stellar outing. [SFGate]

*unofficial