Willie Mays Hayes = Rajai Davis
Willie: “Willie Mays Hayes. I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes.”
Lou Brown: “You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit.”
Roger Dorn = Barry Bonds
Jake Taylor: “What I was concerned with was why you didn’t come up with that grounder that Rockert hit in the 9th.”
Roger Dorn: “It was out of my reach, what do you want me to do, dive for it?”
Rick Vaughn = Tim Lincecum
Lou Brown: “Forget about the curve ball Ricky, give him the heater.”
Lou Brown = Bruce Bochy
Assistant Coach: [Vaughn has just given up a grand slam after walking three straight batters] “You want me to go get him?”
Lou Brown: “No, keep him in. Let’s see how he reacts.”
Lou Brown: [Vaughn hits the next batter] “Interesting.”
Jake Taylor = Bengie Molina
Jake Taylor: [Vaughn is lamenting the long home run he gave up] “That ball wouldn’t have been out of a lot of parks.”
Rick Vaughn: “Name one.”
Jake Taylor: “Yellowstone?”
Woman: “I hear baseball players make awfully good salaries nowadays.”
Jake Taylor: “Well it all depends on how good you are.”
Woman: “How good are you?”
Jake Taylor: “I make the league minimum.”
Harry Doyle = Mike Krukow
Harry Doyle: [Hayes takes his lead off first base] “We don’t know where Hayes played last year, but I’m sure he did a hell of a job.”
First Baseman: “Real hard to steal second with your shoe untied.”
Harry Doyle: [Hayes looks down, then gets thrown out by the pitcher] “Throw to first… Hayes is picked off! Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.”
Pedro Cerrano = ????: If we had a right-handed power hitter, we wouldn’t be in last place. Probably.
Pedro Cerrano: “Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.”
Eddie Harris: “You trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?“
Finally, here are two more riveting comparisons that we couldn’t find photos for …
Jack Parkman (from the sequel) = Jeff Kent, above
The snarky, pessimistic, bandwagon fans in the bleachers = the snarky, pessimistic, bandwagon blogosphere, also above (Oh that’s meta!)
August 14, 2007 at 5:03 pm |
Feliz could be Cerrano because curveballs give him fits. He just doesn’t hit for power like Cerrano.
August 14, 2007 at 8:08 pm |
I’ve been telling my boys for a while that Zito is Ricky Vaughn from Major League 2. Think about it…
Zito’s sold out and gone corporate. He’s lost that zen buddhist mojo that got him there. Wild Thing pulled the same move and also lost his stuff.
Now Zito needs to get back to roots the way Wild Thing rediscovered the badass inside that made him such a fan favorite.
They may not have the same type of stuff, but I think there’s a lot of similarities.
August 14, 2007 at 11:35 pm |
I don’t think Bonds and Dorn match up that well. Dorn reminds more of Klesko or Aurilia. Both are washed up, but still continue to play so they can cash in.
The big difference between Bochy and Brown is that Brown was actually kinda cool. The only guy off the top of my head I can compare Bochy to is Felipe Alou. Both are so fast asleep in the dugout they forget what’s going on.
Zito and Wild Thing comparison by DG was brilliant. Cerrano is very much like Feliz because the only pitch either of them can hit is a fastball.
Now if only Molina made league minimum like Taylor…
August 15, 2007 at 1:01 am |
Yeah, the Zito comparison is brilliant.
August 21, 2007 at 6:37 am |
Tremendous post. That Zito comparison is fantastic in every way. Big fan of the Krukow one, too, if only because I can imagine him drinking in the booth.