Scottie Pippen To Play Again … In Finland. The Country.

We know that this isn’t exactly related to the Bay Area, but since we A) are in a Euro basketball mood and B) love all things Finnish, we couldn’t resist: 41-year-old Scottie Pippen is going to play professionally for Finland’s Helsinki-based ToPo team:

Former Chicago Bulls player Scottie Pippen is close to signing a two match deal with Finland’s Torpan Pojat (ToPo), the team said on Thursday.

The plan is that Pippen, a six-time NBA champion and now 41 years old, would play in ToPo in December or January.

“We are discussing details now, such as when and in which matches he will play,” ToPo’s general manager Aleksi Valavuori said.

“He would be the best player ever to have played in Europe.”

He declined to reveal how much Pippen would be paid for the two matches, but said it was not a six-figure amount in euros.

Geez, Scottie, not even making six-figures? If the photo above is any indication—which it clearly must be—at least the 6’9″ black man will totally fit in there.

Warriors’ Nation Sheds A Single Tear: Sarunas Jasikevicius Is No Longer A Warrior

It’s official: the Warriors will place Sarunas Jasikevicius on waivers after agreeing on a buyout with the backup point guard. It’s a shame, because Sarunas never really fit in with the team and seemed like a swell former Communist.

In the end, despite the Warriors’ dire need for a backup point guard, Sarunas’ leadership abilities, Sarunas’ shooting touch and his, ahem, undying enthusiasm (read: excellent cheerleading skills), the Lithuanian guard lacked the athleticism (and perhaps the willingness to throw discipline out the window ) to run in Nellie’s system.

Along with the loss of Adonal Foyle, this means that the Warriors have a serious shortage of towel-wavers.

From the moment he arrived in Oakland, Sarunas has been one of our favorite players (both in seriousness and in jest) so as our farewell to Sarunas, here’s Cabbages showcasing his American Idol skill, singing what can only be the Lithuanian version of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

Rod Beck, Remembered.

This is probably the best tribute to Rod Beck we’ve seen. It’s just from Fox Bay Area’s feed from the Giants’ own tribute earlier this summer. Watching those highlights makes us feel warm and cozy. Seems like a lifetime ago.

Mike Krukow said it well: “A good friend, a great Giant.”

Of course, then Duane Kuiper chimed in: “Rod Beck! No longer with us.”

Yes, Shooter was certainly one of a kind.

Leah Garchik Loves Barry Zito

… Or Barry Zito has a very good publicist.

To wit, here is part of the Chronicle columnist’s article today:

Meanwhile, photographs by pitcher Barry Zito (quickly becoming a boldface regular) are featured in the first issue of the Men’s Book, San Francisco magazine’s new periodical offspring. Two of the pitcher’s shots are of himself, one’s a woman pulling down her dress and the third’s a teammate in what appears to be the bathroom. “If his pitches miss the mark on game day, he has the lens to fall back on,” says the magazine.

And the following excerpt was in yesterday’s column:

Montblanc is making a series of special edition pens, the sale of each (for $615) to include $149 to be donated to UNICEF. Famous individuals from all around the country are donating their signatures to be engraved on these pens. The Bay Area’s chosen personality – drum roll begins here and gets louder – is Barry Zito.

And two weeks ago, during the Barry Bonds ceremony, guess who had a cameo?

Despite this season’s showing, the honoree’s teammates, who arrived together in a bus, strolled in to awestruck gasps, and Barry Zito was immediately surrounded by admirers. I asked if he minded that by the time he’d become a Giant, the team, the “Bar-ree, Bar-ree” chant had been taken. “I think I got Zito,” he said. “Two syllables, that works.” That “admirers” is meant literally; he’s rock-star handsome with a kind of mane of shiny brown hair. “Great use of gel,” I said to my pal S.C. “Great use of genetics,” she said.

Conclusion: Barry Zito is a PR machine and Leah Garchik hearts him.

And here we thought that he had shed his “Rick Vaughn from Major League 2″ status. Is it possible that we were … wrong?

Um, Hey, Yeah, About Those New Sharks Uniforms … They Seem Like They Have Nice Personalities

A couple weeks ago, we revealed the new Sharks logo, complete with goldenrod eyes and cartoony meanness.

Yesterday, the Sharkies finally unveiled the actual uniforms; the biggest difference is the incorporation of the goldenrod stripes as the main accents. You’ll remember—or not—that the Sharks’ old accent was silver. We prefer the silver to the burnt orange.

In our best Ralph Barbieri voice: “Go Sharks.”

Also, as you may be able to surmise from our trimonthly hockey posts, we’re not the biggest hockey connoisseurs, so if you know hockey or can write with a computer, drop us a line. Canadians also welcome.

Cry of the Fishmonger Special Report: Sartorial Splendor [SFist]

Nick Swisher Is Awesome.

During the first inning of Sunday’s game against the Rangers, Nick Swisher showcased one of the better mound assaults we’ve ever seen.

The background: Swisher hit a home run in each of the first three games of the four-game series. When Vicente Padilla hit him in his first at-bat on Sunday, it was the third time in the last three games that Swisher had been hit, so Nick being a real man, he charged the mound like no other.

The dropping of the shoulder really makes it special.

UPDATE: Padilla suspended seven games; Swisher three.

Thanks, Mr. Frank …

… for giving us a smile all those mornings.

… for capturing the city like no other.

… for showing us what it means to be a true Giants fan.

… for reminding us that life is, indeed, beautiful.

Nostalgia: Whatever Happened To … Brian Johnson?

It seems like yesterday, but Brian Johnson’s epic game-winning homerun took place nearly a decade ago, almost to the day. Has it really been ten years?

Johnson grew up in Oakland, attending Skyline High School. He lettered in the three major sports, and was even Gary Payton’s backup on the hoops team. Interestingly enough, his best sport was probably football, as he earned a full scholarship to Stanford, where he was the starting quarterback during his first three seasons. In the meantime, he led the Cardinal baseball team to a pair of College World Series championships. The fun part: he played seven positions–all but catcher and second base.

Johnson was drafted by the Yankees in the 1989 Draft. He soon returned to catching duties, despite not playing catcher since high school. He cracked the big leagues in 1994, with the San Diego Padres.

But his moment in the sun was September 18, 1997. We’ll let the Giants official site do the honors:

After more than four hours of baseball, the teams were still stuck at five runs each when Johnson came to the plate to lead off the bottom of the 12th. Reliever Mark Guthrie threw one pitch, and Johnson clobbered it. It rode toward the wall in left, but having already seen an earlier Dodgers blow to nearly the same spot look like a sure home run, only to be knocked down by the Candlestick Park wind, the 52,140 in attendance held their breath.

When the ball cleared the fence and landed in the left-field bleachers, the ballpark erupted. It’s possible cars on nearby Highway 101 thought an earthquake was happening as the frenzied crowd celebrated wildly while Johnson circled the bases. The catcher later said he didn’t even feel his feet hitting the ground as he ran, and when he crossed the plate, his teammates mobbed him. The scoreboard itself almost seemed alive as it displayed the current NL West standings, with the Giants and Dodgers in a flat-footed tie.

That was the season of Dustiny. And no one epitomized that feeling more than Brian Johnson.

Giants Roundup: Rebuilding Edition

• With last night’s loss to the Diamondbacks, the Giants were officially eliminated from the playoffs, about three months after they were unofficially eliminated. Of note: Jonathan Sanchez had some bright moments in his start and hard-throwing rookie Erick Threets made his major league debut in the ninth inning. [SFGate]
• Rajai Davis keeps going and going and going and going … [SJ Merc]
• Nate Schierholtz is hitting .391 since being recalled from Fresno. The Danville native and San Ramon Valley High alum doesn’t even wear batting gloves. The funny thing is that he has an endorsement with Franklin batting gloves. That Nate: he’s cah-razy! [SFGate]
• Jonathan Sanchez: our Little Unit? [McCovey Chronicles]
• The Giants could certainly look to Arizona’s successful rebuilding project. [Giants Talk]
• Looking back on the season, here are some of the good moves made by the Giants’ braintrust: the Morris-Davis move, sticking with Hennessey as the closer, signing Molina and the handling of Tim Lincecum. [El Lefty Malo]
• Ex-Giant Todd Linden notched the winning hit for Marlins in yesterday’s game against the Nationals. 76,000 empty seats and 375 fans were in attendance. [The FanHouse]
• A whole roundup talking about the young guys…

A Moment To Count Our Baseball Blessings

As the Giants and A’s wrap up their respective wastes of a season, we’d like to take a moment to reflect on one of the most painful baseball summers in recent history.

But let’s take a moment to consider just how lucky the Bay Area has been in terms of putting out competitive baseball teams over the last two decades.

The last time both Bay Area teams lost 85 games was that magical 1985 season. The Giants are pretty much a shoe-in for 85 losses this year, but Oakland’s late-season “surge” has made it necessary for them to lose 10 of their last 14 games to reach the 85-loss mark.

Why do we mention this? Take a look at the other two-team markets in the Major League and the last time(s) both teams lost at least 85 games.

• New York: Mets and Yankees lost 85+ games in 1992, 1991.
• Los Angeles: Dodgers and Angels lost 85+ games in 1999, 1992, 1987
• Chicago: Cubs and White Sox lost 85+ games in 1999, 1988, 1987, 1986

Not only does the Bay Area have the longest streak going (by far), but since that 1985 disaster–which simultaneously spawned two dynasties (one led by a certain Will Clark, the other by the Bash Brothers)–the three other markets have a combined nine 170+ loss seasons.

Our Friend JP, Still At It

What’s good people?

As seen above, our boy JP over at FRiSCOFiTTEDTV has continued to pump out those game recaps. He actually has a lot of valiant points, and because we want him to succeed, we’d like to offer some words of advice for our aspiring mini-Gary Radnich.

1. These are the Youtubes. Five minutes is way too long for the A.D.H.D.-riddled folks that are trying their best to escape their meaningless lives while surfing about the interwebs. Take a cue from the master: keep the clips concise, direct and pithy.

2. Turn up the volume on the commentary. We can barely hear you speak, especially after the music.

3. Keep rocking the fly gear, especially the throwbacks. [Sidenote: we still cannot get over how awesome the Niners' throwbacks looked on Monday.]

4. Keep the highlights.

5. When in a news lull, it never hurts to reveal what happens behind the scenes. In fact, you should maybe even purchase some wood paneling.

The Chronicle’s Five Giants Preseason Questions, Answered

Good lord, is this the longest baseball season ever or what?

The preseason seems like a promise-filled, somewhat hopeful lifetime ago. March was a far cry from the doldrums of the tear-stained September we are experiencing now.

Remember when Brian Sabean compared this 2007 squad to the 1997 team? Sure, both versions had lots of turnover with established veterans coming in. Because we are masochists ’round these parts, let’s revisit the five biggest questions about the 2007 Giants, posed by the Chronicle back in the halcyon days of March. Oh, how full of hope the city was!

1. Does Barry Bonds still have it? The Giants invested up to $20 million for one more year of his potent bat, and they will need it if they hope to win.

Um, hope to win what?

Bonds was (and is) the Giants’ best hitter, by far. He’s played in just as many games as Ray Durham and Bengie Molina. He’s hit a more-than-respectable 28 home runs at the age of 43, which in this steroid-less era is good for the top 10 in the league. He hasn’t be incarcerated and has successfully avoided any new performance-enhancing drug scandals. His average (.278) is lower than expected, but his OBP and OPS are among the league-leaders. Perhaps Surely that $20 million could have been better spent, but Bonds–for all his faults–did his part this year. He wasn’t outstanding, but he was as good as could have been expected.

2. Will Barry Zito be a real difference-maker? The team gave him the richest contract ever for a pitcher on the premise that he is Jason Schmidt and then some.

Obviously, Zito had a terrible year with an even worse first couple months on this side of the Bay. He’s picked it up lately, but it’s pretty obvious that the only differences he made were negative.

The bright(ish) side is this: with the emergences of Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain (and the re-emergence of Noah Lowry) the Giants’ rotation is absolutely stacked. Plus, Zito has shown signs that next year won’t be as bad. The bottom line is this: he was an innings-eater on a bad team. He will end up with 25-plus decisions by the end of the year; put him on a good team and he easily notches 15 wins.

Also, Jason Schmidt was somehow even more of a disappointment for the Dodgers.

Three more questions, post-jump:

Niners Roundup: A Non-Loss!

• Your San Francisco 49ers proved they were merely the second-worst team on the field last night, not losing to the Arizona Cardinals 20-17. Alex Smith “clearly regressed in form from a year ago.” Arnaz Battle fumbled the ball in his own end zone in the last minute (luckily it was recovered by the Niners). The Cardinals scored on their penultimate drive, largely in part to SF free safety Mark Roman’s “inexplicable” taunting penalty that moved the ball from the Niners’ 30 to the 5, eventually leading to a Cardinals’ score. Frank Gore only had 55 yards on 18 carries. Vernon Davis “could not handle the only pass thrown to him.” [SFGate]
• ESPN Radio just said that Patrick Willis will be the Defensive Rookie of the Year.
• The cherry-red throwbacks looked awesome.
• As brutal as Alex Smith was throughout the game, he did pull it together on that last drive. Small victories. Plus, a win is a win. [Niners Nation]
• Niners Turf describes the game as “watching two teams slog ineffectually toward nothing in particular” and a “Raider highlight film from 2004.” [Niners Turf]
• Just how did offensive coordinator Jim Hostler know that the end-around game winning touchdown would work? And whatever happened to Jeff Hostetler? [Hashmarks]
• There was another Bill Walsh tribute during halftime. [SFGate]
• Gwen Knapp says that as Frank Gore goes, so go the 49ers. [SFGate]
• You should really check out Will Leitch’s live blogging of last night’s game. [Deadspin]

Got a Niners’ blog that should be on our radar? Send it on over.

[Photo courtesy: AP Photo/Dino Vournas]

What Are The Warriors Doing?

Over the weekend, two items of Warriors news got us thinking.

First came the news that a very unhappy Don Nelson headed back to his home in Hawaii after contract negotiations went absolutely nowhere:

Nelson would like to put pressure on the Warriors to move off their one and only offer. That proposal would increase Nelson’s base salary per season from $3.1 million to $5.1 million, but it inserts a team option for the second and final season, meaning Nelson would face a decrease of $1.1 million in guaranteed money.

Then Sarunas Jasikevicius had this to say about his employers:

“I’m really waiting for [Golden State] to trade me. It’s been going on since February, and nothing’s happening. I really don’t understand this franchise, to be honest with you. I know what kind of offers they got for me, and they’re not taking them. I know they’re not planning on using me, so I really don’t understand what they’re trying to do with me. In that league, absolutely nothing depends on me, so I’m sitting by the phone and waiting.”

We agree with Sarunas: the kid can obviously ball (he’s leading the Euro tourney in assists), he’s a star in international ball, has value around the league and doesn’t fit in the Warriors’ system. He’s not going to play here and has a hefty salary, but the front office won’t deal him?

All this comes on the heels of an offseason that also saw Mully and Co. basically risk pissing off Baron (aka their star/meal-ticket) by denying him an extension, fail to acquire a real backup point guard, get nowhere on contract talks with Monta Ellis and/or Andris Biedrins and finally, give up their leading scorer for Brandan Wright. Individually, all these moves (and non-moves) have understandable–even admirable–rationale, but taken as a whole, things could very well implode in the next couple months.

What happens if Nelson walks away? What happens if Baron sulks and/or gets injured? What happens if Monta and Andris become free agents? What happens if Wright is a flop and J-Rich soars in Charlotte?

Are any of these scenarios that implausible? Not really … the W’s are just rolling the dice.

Nostalgia: Nancy Reagan Has A Cannon For An Arm

Yeah, we’re sticking with the 1988 World Series nostalgia clips. Here we have the First Lady delivering a very important message to the youth of America and then tossing out the ceremonial first pitch.

Seeing that “pitch” makes us realize that Nancy Reagan was almost a real-life, female version of Mr. Burns (albeit not evil … probably).

[Kidding aside, we think she did a very nice thing in bringing the whole "Say no to drugs" campaign to the country and we wouldn't wish to imply otherwise.]