Before or since, has there ever been a more appropriate nickname than “The Thrill”?

And then, we started the great “Give Will Clark his own radio show” campaign of 2008. All aboard.

The scene: the 1989 NLCS. Giants v. Cubs. Will Clark at the plate versus Mitch “the Wild Thing” Williams. 1-1 tie ballgame.

Robby Thompson! Brett Butler! Candy Maldonado! Roger Craig! Real Fans! The ‘Stick! Hummm baby!

The game seemed so much more pure back then, no?

The “One Shining Moment” Award for the Best Montage: the new pre-game introduction video at the Warriors games

The 2 Girls, 1 Cup Award for the Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: 756!

The Max Power Award for Best Nickname: Stephen Jackson, aka Captain Jack

The Baron Davis Award for the Best Beard: Baron Davis

The Rod Beck Award for Most Lovable Giants Pitcher: Matt Cain

The Atlee Hammaker/Salomon Torres Award for the Most _____ Giants Pitcher: Barry Zito (Runner-up, somehow: Trent Dilfer)

The Teri Schiavo Award for the Most Overexposed Vegetable: Barry Bonds

The Harry “Holy Cow!” Caray Award for Best New Catchphrase: Jim Barnett, “YOU’VE JUST BEEN MBENGA’ED!”

The “Who Let the Dogs Out” Award for the Most Tired Catchprase: Mike Krukow, “Grab some pine, meat!”

The Mariah Carey Award for the Most Soothing Voice: Jon Miller, again and again

The George W. Award for the Most Cluelessly Transparent Leader: Mike Nolan

The Pam Anderson Award for the Biggest Bust: your 2007 San Francisco 49ers (Runners-Up: Patrick O’Bryant, Alex Smith, Barry Zito)

The Thomas Jefferson For the Increasingly Most Overrated Genius: Tie, Brian Sabean and Billy Beane

The Chris Benoit Award, Proving that Steroids Don’t Always Work: Three-Way Tie: F.P. Santangelo, Matt Herges and Jack Cust

The ET Award for the Man Who Looks Most Like ET: still one Felipe Alou

The Fuck Lion Award for the Biggest Beast: Patrick Willis (Runners-Up: Matt Cain, Tim Lincecum, Baron Davis, Nick Swisher)

The Moment of the Year: The. Dunk. Obviously.

We were wrong.

During the month of October, not one sports team in the 415 or 510 area code won a single game. (And November ain’t off to such a hot start either.)

• A’s: n/a
• Giants: n/a
• Warriors: 0-3.
• 49ers: 0-4.
• Raiders: 0-4.
• For the heck of it, we’ll even toss in Cal football: 0-3.

Conclusion: it’s time for the San Francisco Rumble and the ABA. That, or hockey.

Dearest Golden State Warriors,

We love you. Really, we do. Since the dark days of Terry Teagle, we’ve been by your side, and truth be told, we’re probably never going to hop off the bandwagon.

But please don’t fuck up this year.

The Bay Area just wouldn’t be able to take it. You see, we’ve had quite a bit of suffering since you saw us last spring. When you got bounced from the playoffs in April—we’re sick of the Jazz too, by the way—the Bay Area sports scene was a totally different beast. The Giants were struggling a bit in the early going, but everyone thought it would just be a matter of time before Barry Zito got back on track and Barry Bonds broke the record. We had no idea how painful the baseball season would turn out.

Just like you, the 49ers entered the season with lofty expectations. They were a darkhorse. The trendy pick to make some noise. And, clearly, the bar was set too high, because lordy, those games are terrible.

And then we have you, Golden State Warriors. Playoffs are expected. The Clippers are done. The Kings are done. The Lakers are in turmoil. The Suns are an injury away from being vincible. You’re coming off the best playoff series in history. The table is set.

But things could go wrong pretty easily. Baron could go down. Monta may have peaked. Barnes could be a non-factor. Biedrins might not be able to carry the load down low. Nellie could lose interest and find himself in Hawaii by February. Last year may have been lightning in a bottle.

Prove us wrong. Save the Bay Area. Please.

Sincerely,

Say Hey

We know that this isn’t exactly related to the Bay Area, but since we A) are in a Euro basketball mood and B) love all things Finnish, we couldn’t resist: 41-year-old Scottie Pippen is going to play professionally for Finland’s Helsinki-based ToPo team:

Former Chicago Bulls player Scottie Pippen is close to signing a two match deal with Finland’s Torpan Pojat (ToPo), the team said on Thursday.

The plan is that Pippen, a six-time NBA champion and now 41 years old, would play in ToPo in December or January.

“We are discussing details now, such as when and in which matches he will play,” ToPo’s general manager Aleksi Valavuori said.

“He would be the best player ever to have played in Europe.”

He declined to reveal how much Pippen would be paid for the two matches, but said it was not a six-figure amount in euros.

Geez, Scottie, not even making six-figures? If the photo above is any indication—which it clearly must be—at least the 6’9″ black man will totally fit in there.

In the end, despite the Warriors’ dire need for a backup point guard, Sarunas’ leadership abilities, Sarunas’ shooting touch and his, ahem, undying enthusiasm (read: excellent cheerleading skills), the Lithuanian guard lacked the athleticism (and perhaps the willingness to throw discipline out the window ) to run in Nellie’s system.

Along with the loss of Adonal Foyle, this means that the Warriors have a serious shortage of towel-wavers.

From the moment he arrived in Oakland, Sarunas has been one of our favorite players (both in seriousness and in jest) so as our farewell to Sarunas, here’s Cabbages showcasing his American Idol skill, singing what can only be the Lithuanian version of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

[video via The FanHouse]

This is probably the best tribute to Rod Beck we’ve seen. It’s just from Fox Bay Area’s feed from the Giants’ own tribute earlier this summer. Watching those highlights makes us feel warm and cozy. Seems like a lifetime ago.

Mike Krukow said it well: “A good friend, a great Giant.”

Of course, then Duane Kuiper chimed in: “Rod Beck! No longer with us.”

Yes, Shooter was certainly one of a kind.

… Or Barry Zito has a very good publicist.

To wit, here is part of the Chronicle columnist’s article today:

Meanwhile, photographs by pitcher Barry Zito (quickly becoming a boldface regular) are featured in the first issue of the Men’s Book, San Francisco magazine’s new periodical offspring. Two of the pitcher’s shots are of himself, one’s a woman pulling down her dress and the third’s a teammate in what appears to be the bathroom. “If his pitches miss the mark on game day, he has the lens to fall back on,” says the magazine.

And the following excerpt was in yesterday’s column:

Montblanc is making a series of special edition pens, the sale of each (for $615) to include $149 to be donated to UNICEF. Famous individuals from all around the country are donating their signatures to be engraved on these pens. The Bay Area’s chosen personality – drum roll begins here and gets louder – is Barry Zito.

And two weeks ago, during the Barry Bonds ceremony, guess who had a cameo?

Despite this season’s showing, the honoree’s teammates, who arrived together in a bus, strolled in to awestruck gasps, and Barry Zito was immediately surrounded by admirers. I asked if he minded that by the time he’d become a Giant, the team, the “Bar-ree, Bar-ree” chant had been taken. “I think I got Zito,” he said. “Two syllables, that works.” That “admirers” is meant literally; he’s rock-star handsome with a kind of mane of shiny brown hair. “Great use of gel,” I said to my pal S.C. “Great use of genetics,” she said.

Conclusion: Barry Zito is a PR machine and Leah Garchik hearts him.

And here we thought that he had shed his “Rick Vaughn from Major League 2″ status. Is it possible that we were … wrong?

A couple weeks ago, we revealed the new Sharks logo, complete with goldenrod eyes and cartoony meanness.

Yesterday, the Sharkies finally unveiled the actual uniforms; the biggest difference is the incorporation of the goldenrod stripes as the main accents. You’ll remember—or not—that the Sharks’ old accent was silver. We prefer the silver to the burnt orange.

In our best Ralph Barbieri voice: “Go Sharks.”

Also, as you may be able to surmise from our trimonthly hockey posts, we’re not the biggest hockey connoisseurs, so if you know hockey or can write with a computer, drop us a line. Canadians also welcome.

Cry of the Fishmonger Special Report: Sartorial Splendor [SFist]

During the first inning of Sunday’s game against the Rangers, Nick Swisher showcased one of the better mound assaults we’ve ever seen.

The background: Swisher hit a home run in each of the first three games of the four-game series. When Vicente Padilla hit him in his first at-bat on Sunday, it was the third time in the last three games that Swisher had been hit, so Nick being a real man, he charged the mound like no other.

The dropping of the shoulder really makes it special.

UPDATE: Padilla suspended seven games; Swisher three.

… for giving us a smile all those mornings.

… for capturing the city like no other.

… for showing us what it means to be a true Giants fan.

… for reminding us that life is, indeed, beautiful.

Johnson grew up in Oakland, attending Skyline High School. He lettered in the three major sports, and was even Gary Payton’s backup on the hoops team. Interestingly enough, his best sport was probably football, as he earned a full scholarship to Stanford, where he was the starting quarterback during his first three seasons. In the meantime, he led the Cardinal baseball team to a pair of College World Series championships. The fun part: he played seven positions–all but catcher and second base.

Johnson was drafted by the Yankees in the 1989 Draft. He soon returned to catching duties, despite not playing catcher since high school. He cracked the big leagues in 1994, with the San Diego Padres.

But his moment in the sun was September 18, 1997. We’ll let the Giants official site do the honors:

After more than four hours of baseball, the teams were still stuck at five runs each when Johnson came to the plate to lead off the bottom of the 12th. Reliever Mark Guthrie threw one pitch, and Johnson clobbered it. It rode toward the wall in left, but having already seen an earlier Dodgers blow to nearly the same spot look like a sure home run, only to be knocked down by the Candlestick Park wind, the 52,140 in attendance held their breath.

When the ball cleared the fence and landed in the left-field bleachers, the ballpark erupted. It’s possible cars on nearby Highway 101 thought an earthquake was happening as the frenzied crowd celebrated wildly while Johnson circled the bases. The catcher later said he didn’t even feel his feet hitting the ground as he ran, and when he crossed the plate, his teammates mobbed him. The scoreboard itself almost seemed alive as it displayed the current NL West standings, with the Giants and Dodgers in a flat-footed tie.

That was the season of Dustiny. And no one epitomized that feeling more than Brian Johnson.

But let’s take a moment to consider just how lucky the Bay Area has been in terms of putting out competitive baseball teams over the last two decades.

The last time both Bay Area teams lost 85 games was that magical 1985 season. The Giants are pretty much a shoe-in for 85 losses this year, but Oakland’s late-season “surge” has made it necessary for them to lose 10 of their last 14 games to reach the 85-loss mark.

Why do we mention this? Take a look at the other two-team markets in the Major League and the last time(s) both teams lost at least 85 games.

• New York: Mets and Yankees lost 85+ games in 1992, 1991.
• Los Angeles: Dodgers and Angels lost 85+ games in 1999, 1992, 1987
• Chicago: Cubs and White Sox lost 85+ games in 1999, 1988, 1987, 1986

Not only does the Bay Area have the longest streak going (by far), but since that 1985 disaster–which simultaneously spawned two dynasties (one led by a certain Will Clark, the other by the Bash Brothers)–the three other markets have a combined nine 170+ loss seasons.