Warriors (Got) Beat: Well, That Worked Out Well

In honor of the Warriors-Suns national broadcast last night, we decided to keep a running diary:

10:49pm ET: Just turned on the computer as the game starts. Nothing screams single guy like eating Chinese food and having a beer while typing on the laptop at 10:45 on a weeknight. Oh well. A Warriors victory will quell the depression. They have already scored 15 unanswered. 9:20 left in the 1st Quarter. 18-6 Warriors. Reggie Miller says this is a glorified pickup game. D’Antoni just called a timeout after a JRich three. The Warriors are totally going to the playoffs behind this new small-small ball lineup, with four guards (Baron, Ellis, JRich, Crazy Steve) and Al Harrington. Brilliant, Nellie, brilliant!

10:52: That Team USA commercial comes on. I think of the same two things every time: Carmelo Anthony saying he’s an ambassador to the game. This is the same Carmelo who was featured with drug dealers and, um, witness intimidators in that Stop Snitchin’ dvd and who then sucker punched and ran away from a second-round draft pick? And what is Brad Miller doing in that commerical? They couldn’t get anyone better? Not even Kirk Hinrich for the token white guy?

10:53: The sideline reporter guy reveals that Baron told him that he’s playing hurt. Wah-wah, Baron. Those City jerseys are the best uniforms in the history of uniforms though.

10:55: 21-8 Warriors. JRich hits another 3. Baron blocks a shot and Ellis finishes the break. I’m going ahead and guaranteeing a warriors victory. They are literally unstoppable at home. So, in my best Johnny Drama voice: VICTORY!

10:58: 32-15 Warriors. 32 points in half a quarter. Wow. Just wow. Nellie has totally baited the Suns into playing a slow down game by forcing them to post up their bigs.

11:11: End of the First Quarter. 45-33 warriors. The Warriors are on pace to score 180 points. JRich is on pace to score 76. Surely the W’s aren’t going to score 180, but I wonder what’s a reasonable guess. 130? 150? I’m going to say 140.

11:13: Quick flip to Sportscenter. Two guys are talking about this thing called hock-ey. I change the channel to Seinfeld.

11:16: This James Jones is terrible at basketball. Why is he playing and why is he shooting so much?

11:19: Stephen Jackson crosses over Diaw and completes a three point play. Crazy Steve is pretty ugly. Actually, the Warriors have a lot of ugly guys. Baron’s no looker and Al Harrington looks like a ninja turtle. Ellis has acne. Biedrins looks like he came out of Rocky IV. And don’t even say anything about Adonal. We’re def. the ugliest team in the league.

11:34: Stephen Jackson has the quietest 20 points ever. Warriors have 44 field goal attempts and one free throw. That’s not ideal. Still, W’s 63-53.

11:46: Halftime, W’s 77-63. BDiddy makes a layup at the buzzer, then poses in a pose that could only be described as “it looks like he was taking a shit with his arms extended.”

11:59: Not feeling so good about that late night Chinese. Ugh.

12:19: We’re back. This sequence just happened: Baron Davis gets under Nash’s skin (by fouling of course), provoking Nash to get a technical. Nash tries to get even but misses a quick three. Baron rebounds, brings the ball upcourt, does some crazy crossover/shot fake thing (how does he fake a shot without picking up his dribble?), drives the lane and kicks out to JRich. Another three, number seven for the evening. Timeout Phoenix. Warriors up 93-73. Is this game over? What’s a safe lead with these two teams playing?

12:24: Steve Kerr just said that Biedrins is “so active and he gets his hands on so many balls.” I giggled.

12:26: Biedrins proves Kerr right with an awesome tomahawk dunk over Nash and Amare. Warriors still up 20 points, 99-79.

12:27: Steve Kerr just said the Warriors are the world’s greatest team. You don’t need any context. Just remember that the Warriors are the world’s greatest team. The television said so.

12:32: End of the 3rd Quarter. GS 109, Pho 86. S-Jax is beating his chest and yelling obscenities. In a good way, of course.

Somewhere around 12:40: I fall asleep.

12:55: I wake up to a 20-point Warriors lead with a couple minutes left in the game. I go to bed.

7:32: Wake up and check the final score. Hm, Warriors only won by five, 124-119. Interesting. My 140-point prediction was off. JRich finished with 36 points (not 76) and a franchise-record eight three-pointers. Jackson had 26-7-6 and Baron had a 21-12-8 night. One game out. Playoffs are a-coming.

2 Responses to Warriors (Got) Beat: Well, That Worked Out Well

  1. corneliuscharles says:

    I love this blog not as a game recap but as a life recap. Did you move into a new apartment?… J-Rich was awesome, Monta has such a money jumpshot off the dribble, Biedrins dribble/dunk was f-ing great, and S-Jax and BD’s defense was the wildcard for us.

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