And You Thought The Giants Had The Worst Closer In The League

March 28, 2007

uu09.jpgSometimes, we give Armando Benitez a hard time, even though he’s having a stellar spring (allegedly). But the next time Big Bennie blows a save–and don’t worry, it’ll happen–be grateful that Ugueth Urbina is not the Giants’ closer.

Ugueth Urbina, a two-time All-Star closer, won the 2003 World Series as the bullpen force for the Marlins. He’s 30th on the all-time saves list.

And he’ll be in jail for the next fourteen years. Hey, that’s what happens when you get charged with attempted murder in Venezuela:

Urbina, a former pitcher with the Montreal Expos, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers and Philadelphia Phillies, was also found guilty of illegal deprivation of liberty and violating a prohibition against taking justice into his own hands during a dispute over a gun on Oct. 16, 2005, according to a statement from the Attorney General’s Office.

The 33-year-old free agent was accused of joining a group of men in attacking and injuring workers with machetes and pouring gasoline on them at his family’s ranch, located about 25 miles south of Caracas.

Urbina’s “alibi”? He was “sleeping at the time.” Note to Ugueth: think of better alibi next time you attack people with gasoline and swords. Note to self: don’t trespass in Venezuela.

Urbina sentenced to prison Venezuela [ESPN]


Funny Looking People Are Funny

March 28, 2007


In preparation for this weekend’s Final Four matchups, the good folks at the BruinReportOnline have been having a lot of fun with Photoshop and Joakim Noah photos.

On the other side of the coin, UCLA’s resident “looker” Lorenzo Mata has a large following of lady fans, including this one who dedicated an entire site to The Mat-inator. Real or fictitious? You decide.

A’s Roundup: Debbie Downer Edition

March 27, 2007
  • Carl Seward really just took all the suspense out of the upcoming baseball season by titling his article “A’s, Giants unlikely to be in playoffs.” Since we know what’s going to happen, we guess we’ll have to watch the WNBA instead. [Inside Bay Area]
  • A reminder that ballplayers are people too. They have feelings and families. It’s hard being on the road all the time. [Official Site]
  • Leigh alumnus Jason Windsor (remember him?) was sent down to the minors, thereby eliminating him from the competition for the fifth starter spot. [The Drumbeat]
  • Bobby Crosby had a terrible debut. But that’s actually a good thing. [Official Site]
  • Finally, one of the better team previews out there. [Deadspin]

The Soccer Post: Just In Case You Missed The National Team’s Impressive Win Against The Ecuadorians …

March 27, 2007

soccer.jpgSoccer gazetteer Brendan McCarthy is an avid fan, a prolific goal scorer in his recreational semi-pro league and an all-around metahuman. Residing in “Texas,” he continues to follow the game he loves (along with about seventy gabillion other people). Brendan will share his thoughts about fútbol on a weekly basis here at Say Hey. His words follow.

I am sure you were wide awake well before the 12 p.m. ET kickoff time—applying the stars and stripes over a bowl of Cheerios and/or trying out your fresh, new blue Nike fits, preparing for the most sublime day of days: U.S. Soccer Sunday. So, needless to say, you are very aware of what a tremendous display the young men of United States Soccer put on for you and me against Ecuador. But just in case … just in case, let me walk you through the most meaningful meaningless game so far on the fledgling road to 2010 South Africa.

The score first: 21-7 United States. 21-7? How is that possible? Well, in a new twist to make soccer more interesting to the American public, goals are now worth 7 points. Want more high scoring games? Fake it like American football! … Just kidding, of course. But the real score, 3-1, was absolutely high enough for those who stumbled upon ESPN2 on Sunday. Forty-five seconds into the game, Landon Donovan ripped a left-footed shot into the back right of the net. ‘Twas a stunning opening to a competitive game. It could have turned out so differently; another boring opening 50 minutes of little shooting and mistimed passing—Landon passing up opportunity after opportunity, frustrating fan after fan. Instead, the newly-married Donovan seemed to rise to the occasion of his captaincy, proving that when he is ON, he is the best player on the field.

Read the rest of this entry »

Nostalgia: Whatever Happened to … Jim Druckenmiller?

March 27, 2007

jdpicvogs59a-5150-10-1.jpgJim Druckenmiller was the 49ers’ first round pick in the 1997 draft. Out of Virginia Tech, he was the prototype quarterback: strong armed, tall (6-4) and poised under pressure. He was the heir apparent to the Joe Montana-Steve Young legacy. Then he proceeded to suck.

After just two seasons, the Niners traded him to Miami, where he was soon released because he sucked. Pro Football Reference sums up Druck’s career best:

Jim Druckenmiller never finished in the top 10 in any major category.

Jim Druckenmiller is not in the all-time top 50 in any major category.

But the Jim Druckenmiller story really gets good after his three long years of NFL service benchwarming. He was signed by the Arena Football League’s Los Angeles Avengers, where he was the backup quarterback and amassed this career stat line: 5 of 13 for 82 yards and one interception.

Once the Arena Football League didn’t work out (you know you’re a bad football player when … ), Druck kept at the dream and signed with the XFL’s Memphis Maniax. He “led” the Maniax to a record of 5-5. After the XFL folded, he tried to make the Indy Colts roster, but alas, his comeback attempt was for naught.

Because he sucked.

Jim Druckenmiller [wikipedia]

Warriors (Got) Beat: So, About Last Night …

March 27, 2007

Instead of doing our usual recap of the latest attempt by the Warriors to miss the playoffs for a thirteenth consecutive year, we’ll let the guys over at Golden State of Mind (one of our favorite blogs) sum up the Warriors-Spurs fiasco last night:

The third quarter just ended. San Antonio has scored 102 points. We got outscored 29 to 12. Al Harrington has 1 point on 0-5 shooting. Jason Richardson has 0 points on 0-7 shooting. We are currently 3 for 18 from beyond. The Warriors are down 36 points.

The only good thing about that quarter was my bowl of Kix. Well, at least the half of it that I didn’t throw at the television.

The end result: a close 126-89 loss. The Lightning Bolts are now a full two games out of the last spot.

San Antonio 126, Golden State 89 [Yahoo!]

Clip Of The Day: Ode To The Dream

March 26, 2007

As expected, we’ve been watching a lot of college hoops lately, and with all the (mostly deserved) attention given towards this current crop of big men–Greg Oden, Joakim Noah, Al Horford, Roy Hibbert and Lorenzo Mata (what?)–we would like to remind everyone who’s forgotten about Hakeem Olajuwon just how great The Dream was. Watch the video. There is no one–college or pro–who can come close to the things he does.