The Warriors Celebrate Their Big Win

The scene: Sunday night, at a ritzy Bay Area bar/club, shortly after the Golden State Warriors’ monumental Game Three victory over the Dallas Mavericks.

Baron Davis [entering bar]: Alright Beard, we’re supposed to meet the team here and celebrate our big win.

Baron’s Beard [looking around]: Awww yeah! This is what I’m talkin’ ’bout!

Jessica Alba [at the bar]: Hey Baron! Great game tonight!

Baron Davis: Hey, thanks for coming to the game, Jessica. How are you doing tonight?

Baron’s Beard: A-hem!

Baron Davis: Oh sorry. Jessica, have you met Beard?

Baron’s Beard: Hey lil’ breezy! Whaaaaaas crackulatin’? You want some Beard love?

Jessica Alba: Excuse me?

Baron’s Beard: You know what they say about full beards …

Jessica Alba: Pardon?

Baron Davis: Beard, shut up!

Baron’s Beard: Once you go Beard you never go back.

[Jessica Alba slaps Baron’s Beard and storms away.]

Baron’s Beard: Damn! What was up with her?

Baron Davis [walking over to the rest of the team in the back of the bar]: Beard! She’s my friend! You offended her!

Baron’s Beard: She just don’t know.

Jason Richardson [sitting at a booth with Don Nelson and Andris Biedrins]: What up B! Hey, didn’t Monta Ellis come with you?

Baron Davis: Yeah, but he couldn’t get in.

Baron’s Beard: Dumbass didn’t want to throw away his sour cherry Slurpee.

Baron Davis: He’s ok though. He’s playing Gameboy in the car. I rolled down the windows. Hey, where’s Jax at?

Andris Biedrins [looking suspiciously tan]: Stephen Jackson doing disco dance with many prostitutes right now. He pretend to have sex with them on disco area. What a country America!

Jason Richardson [looking in the distance]: Aw shit. Look who’s coming over. Quick, avoid eye contact!

Mike Dunleavy [stumbling over, drunk]: Hey guyyyyyys!!!

All [unenthusiastically and together]: Hi, Mike.

Baron’s Beard: Who’s this fool?

Baron Davis: He used to be on the Warriors when you were little, remember? It was back when you were just a goatee.

Mike Dunleavy: I’m soooo drunk! Hey I can’t be-lieve how well you guys are do-ing! No, really. Hey guess what? I’ve gotten a lot cooler since I decided to get traded. And just because I’m on a different team doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out!

Stephen Jackson [C-walking by the table, screaming/singing, with what can only be described as “a harem of bitches”]: What up gangstas! We the muthafuckin’ shit, yo! Ain’t no Texas-ass, German-loving Maverick muthafuckers gonna come into our house and whup our asses! We showed ‘dem! Go Warriors, Go Warriors, it’s our birthday! And we ready! We ready! We ready …

[Stephen Jackson continues his diatribe in the distance with his harem]

Don Nelson [shaking his head with a huge smile across his face]: He’s incorrigible.

[The players all stare blankly at Nelson]

Don Nelson: Hey nevermind, guys. Who wants a drink? This round’s on me!

Baron Davis: I’ll have a Heineken.

Baron’s Beard: Thug Passion. And a pack o’ Newports, yo.

Andris Biedrins: In Soviet Russia, cigarette smoke you.

Mike Dunleavy: Another Zima for Mike!

Don Nelson [calling to Sarunas Jasikevicius and Zarko Cabarkapa in the corner]: Hey Vince! You want anything?

[Jasikevicius glares at Nelson and slowly lifts both middle fingers.]

Don Nelson [smiling fondly]: Oh, that Vince. Great guy.

11 Responses to The Warriors Celebrate Their Big Win

  1. Jason says:

    I don’t know what’s funnier – Monta playing gameboy in the car with the windows rolled down or J-Rich hanging out in a booth with Biedrins and the Don.

  2. Alan says:

    Foyle needs to come in next episode as the Godfather

  3. […] Albuquerque in curiosidades. trackback Enquanto não começa o jogo do Warriors contra o Mavs, o blog Say Hey faz outra “reprodução” da comemoração do Golden State, após a vitória de […]

  4. […] The Warriors Celebrate Their Big Win [image] The scene: Sunday night, at a ritzy Bay Area bar/club, shortly after the Golden State Warriors’ […] […]

  5. janoko says:


  6. amiripz says:

    Warriors will lose at the end. They will run-out of steam.

  7. […] Not even, really, the Golden State Warriors. Their bandwagon is piled high right now, and everyone wants to portray them as the NBA’s miracle team, but really, this is a better team than its regular season record–the midseason trade that brought Al Harrington and Stephen Jackson made the Warriors quick, athletic and hard to defend; this is a tough matchup for Dallas. There’s also drama, both on and off the court, in the feud between our favorite blogging NBA team owner and his former coach, now with the Warriors.  And you have to like any team that can inspire writing like this. […]

  8. ballawade says:

    woohhooo GOO THE WARRIORS!!!!
    Thanks for the information!
    It was helpful!
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  9. grover says:

    This is too good…now give us more!!

    Maybe the next episdoe can answer the eternal question…Who would win a battle of the wits between Beard, Biedrins, and S-Jax?

  10. drmichaelevansachs says:

    Go Mavs!!

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