Must … Not … Make … Joke … About … Children …

mn_spelling_bee03_cr.jpgDanville, California is now the nation’s spelling hotbed, as eighth-grader Evan O’Dorney’s Jordanesque Lebronian performance at the 80th annual Scripps Spelling Bee landed the 13-year-old lexicon lover in the pantheon of all-time spelling greats like Anurag Kashyap, Peg McCarthy (who later went onto an illustrious career as a pirate … zing!) and Barrie Trinkle.

O’Dorney, who eats fish before spelling bees (really), seized the day with his victorious recitation of the correct spelling of “serrefine.” Some may say that O’Dorney’s victory may be tainted by the controversial–and quite frankly, egregious–disqualification of perennial favorite (and five-time LOSER) Samir Patel, but not us. O’Dorney won that shit fair and square:

O’Dorney finally won with a series of relatively simple words — at least for him: pappardelle, an Italian pasta; yosenabe, a Japanese soup; and his winning word — serrefine, small forceps for clamping a blood vessel. An unusual practice technique may also have paid off for O’Dorney: His mom, Jennifer O’Dorney, quizzes him daily on words out of Merriam-Webster’s dictionary as he juggles as many as four balls while walking around his home.

He said he sees mathematical patterns while he’s juggling and spelling words aloud.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first genius in the history of Danville. Honestly, we didn’t even know Danvillians could read, what with all the cows and whatnot.

As for the young O’Dorsey, his life dreams include embarking on a career path that leads to becoming a math teacher or music composer. Good luck, young Danvillian. Just remember: never, ever become a sad, lonely blogger.

Getting It Letter Perfect [SFGate]

Down Goes Patel! [Deadspin]

Scripps National Spelling Bee [Wikipedia]

[Photos courtesy: SFGate]


4 Responses to Must … Not … Make … Joke … About … Children …

  1. bobbyspectacular says:

    i work in danville and theres no cows just tons of trophy wives spending money all day at overpriced boutiques and filling the line at starbuchs getting non fat half cold no whip americanos … ps ive called people here danvillians for years now and it made me laugh to see you use it … lots of a’s live in danville and alamo too.

  2. baymud says:

    sad lonely blogger no, no… let this site be an example that some truth and beauty spark inspiration can float our day to day stare to focus above the hum drum grind. Write, create and inspire dear Danvillians everywhere …good spelling is the start…..

  3. John says:

    That dude looks like a retard

  4. John says:

    That 1st place person waz homeschooled?? I shouldn’t insult him.

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