Randy Messenger: The Man, The Myth, The RAINMAKER!

MIAMI - MAY 06:  Pitcher Randy Messenger #23 of the Florida Marlins pitches against the San Diego Padres on May 6, 2007 at Dolphin Stadium in Miami, Florida. The Padres defeated the Marlins 3-1.  (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)

Randy Messenger is the most popular San Francisco Giant today.

Last night, the Giants traded embattled sucky closer Armando Benitez to the Florida Marlins in exchange for Messenger, a little known reliever. The move marks a huge sigh of relief for Giants fans everywhere.

But who is Randy Messenger?

  • He’s the guy who punched a teammate (Scott Olson) in the face.
  • In the grand tradition of Pacman Jones, Messenger enjoys MAKING IT RAIN!!!
  • He once played for the Springfield Albuquerque Isotopes.
  • He enjoys basketball and music.
  • He could talk, or not talk, for hours.
  • He had a taco feast in the Mission with his estranged father Ralph Barbieri last night. Tolbert was there too, but couldn’t hear a thing, on account of his earplugs.
  • The Miami Sports Dude think Messenger is, like, so hot. Too bad for Messenger there are no gay people in San Francisco.
  • Did we mention he enjoys making it rain? Let’s keep him away from Stephen Jackson.

16 Responses to Randy Messenger: The Man, The Myth, The RAINMAKER!

  1. B says:

    Good news: We rid ourselves of Benitez. Bad news: We’re still in last place, or second to last.

    Question: If Hennesey can’t close, do we throw Lincecum into the fire? Answer: Yes. He’d be unstoppable. Who was/is the Reds closer that also looks like a 15 year old?

    Were the Springfield Isotopes close to moving to Albuquerque? Wait, no, I think it was Sante Fe.

  2. Say Hey says:

    Russ Ortiz, closer?

  3. B says:

    No way. Anyone in the minors? Though, the way Ortiz pitched the other night was very, very impressive. He’s got the cojones, the junk, and the nightly/daily durability to pitch. So maybe. Wow, I really came around on my opinion in this reply.

  4. B says:

    brazil vs england today 3pm et. beckham’s warm-up for his messiah game against estonia (!) next wednesday.

    usa vs china at stanford tomorrow night. some youngsters and some euros face off against the top 11 from a billion person nation. imagine the tryouts for that squad!

    hangover united vs soccerzone fc 8am ct on sunday. b-lo dominates against a very talented group, single-footedly carrying his team to early morning glory.

  5. Say Hey says:

    If someone gets thrown into the fire as the new closer, my vote is for Jonathan Sanchez.

  6. sfgfan says:

    I’ll vote for Patrick Misch, who is quietly having a good season in Fresno.

  7. Ryan says:

    “Were the Springfield Isotopes close to moving to Albuquerque? Wait, no, I think it was Sante Fe.”

    It was Albuquerque. That was a classic episode.

  8. Ryan says:

    And I vote for Lincecum. He would dominate in the closer role.

  9. holdin27 says:

    What is the minimum denomonation you can throw and still be considered a “rainmaker”? Any truth to the rumor that Barbieri has already slept with him and is going to run him out next?

  10. JD says:

    He also has a funky curve and flat fastball. I’ve been wanting to get rid of him for a long time. Considering it’s pretty much a salary dump I don’t mind exchanging one Mess for another Mess.

    Enjoy him!

  11. The Dude says:

    As a Marlins fan, I agree with JD. I also agree with Ryan. Lincecum is nasty and would make a serious closer for you guys.

    And by the way, I personally do not find Randy Messenger, or any man for that matter, hot. I was quoting a stripper that saw him “making it rain” at her club. Just don’t want Tim Hardaway hating me.

    So to sum up:
    -Messenger and Benitez both suck but should do ok in their new surroundings.
    -I think Lincecum should close for you guys.
    -Not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

    Thanks for linking to my blog🙂

  12. Nixorbo says:

    Kudos on the Best in Show reference. But does he have two left feet?

  13. […] Randy Messenger: The Man, The Myth, The RAINMAKER! [image] Randy Messenger is the most popular San Francisco Giant today. Last ni […]

  14. beat1poet says:

    dude r u serious

  15. Cathy says:

    Randy’s Dad ‘s name is Dale his Grandpa is Ralph not the last name u have I’m his mom

  16. babolat aero says:

    Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
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