Welcome To Sports Hell

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One of our favorite literary works of all-time is Dante’s Divine Comedy. For those of you unfamiliar with it, the basic plot goes as such: Dante travels through hell, purgatory and heaven. Each otherworldly realm is highly organized based upon the sins/virtues of a soul’s life and along the way, Dante encounters characters from his present day, from history and from myth, each placed in a section of the afterlife based on Dante’s judgment. For example, Dido, who famously killed herself after her beloved Aeneas left her, is with the suicides of the Seventh Circle.

You see where we’re going with this.

Modern times–and these here “blogs”–have afforded sports fans everywhere the luxury of being privy to the often humorous, sometimes sad and nearly always entertaining lifestyles of athletes. So, over the next day or so, with Dante’s Inferno as our guide, we’re going to be taking a trip through sports hell, placing the most notorious sports figures of today–and maybe some from yesteryear–in the various circles of medieval hell.

Here’s the rundown of the nine circles. Feel free to submit nominations.

1. Limbo

2. The Lustful

3. The Gluttonous

4. The Prodigal and Avaricious

5. The Wrathful and Slothful

6. The Heretics

7. The Violent

8. The Fraudulent

9. The Traitors

Suffice to say, the sporting world will be well-represented. From Michael Vick and Barry Bonds to Lou Seal and the Rally Monkey, we ain’t even bullshitting. We hope you like it.

One Response to Welcome To Sports Hell

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