The NBA ref betting scandal. The steroid mess. Dogfighting. It’s a terrible time to be a sports fan, so like we mentioned earlier, we’re taking a trip through sports hell, with the help of Dante.
Part I: The Lustful and The Gluttonous
Part III: The Violent
Part IV: The Fraudulent
The ninth and final circle of hell enslaves the worst of the worst: the traitors. Each of the sinners in the deepest realm–and there aren’t many in the exclusive club–betrayed someone important to them. There are four sections, each progressively worse, with the nadir coming in the final section: those who betrayed benefactors. In Dante’s original, Judas (who betrayed Jesus) suffers with Brutus and Cassius (who betrayed Caesar).
Who will be our un-holy trinity?
Well, which three, ahem, big Bay Area stars betrayed their ultimate benefactor, the sport of baseball?
The Ninth Circle: The Traitors
- Michael Vick: PETA just got mad on behalf of canines everywhere that we lowered dogs to Michael Vick’s kindred level.
- Rae Carruth: Conspiring to kill your lady friend will get you on this list, unfortunately.
- Orenthal James Simpson: If OJ did kill his wife, here’s the circle of hell we’d put him in.
Bay Area Reps:
- The DeBartalo Family: Granted, they haven’t killed each other like the others here, but for heaven’s sake, can’t they get along? Bicker, bicker, bicker! Sue, sue, sue!