Who Will Replace Adonal Foyle As The #1 Bench Warmer?

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There wasn’t a much more likable player on the Warriors’ roster than Adonal Foyle. Sure, he ate up the entire payroll. Sure, he’ll still make more than anyone else on the team (except for B-Dids) this upcoming year, despite not even being on the team. Sure, he missed countless dunks and whatnot. But my, was he loved.

Anyone went to the Oracle last year heard Warriors fans’ Gladiator-esque chants–nay, demands–for Adonal during the final minutes of a blowout.

Adonal’s entrances and (always subsequent) exits regularly garnered the crowd’s loudest ovations of the night.

So, who will replace Adonal as the fan favorite bench warmer? Who will we turn to for this year’s scrub chants?

The criteria:

  • must be likable,
  • must be a nice guy,
  • must not be good at the game of basketball, thereby earning the least (or one of the least) playing time on the team,
  • … but must try hard.

The candidates:

  • Sarunas Jasikevicius is the most obvious choice. After all, he and Adonal immortalized themselves alongside Mateen Cleaves, Mark Madsen and Will Ferrell in the “Male Cheerleader Hall of Fame” during last year’s playoff run. Unfortunately, Jasikevicius is a likely candidate to get moved before the season starts, despite the Dubs’ desperate need for a backup point guard. So either he’ll be traded or he’ll get regular playing time.
  • Patrick O’Bryant is virtually assured to get minimal playing time, but thus far, he’s shown none of Foyle’s likability. Sure, O’Bryant sucks, but in his flashes (in the NBA, D-League and Summer League), he comes across as lazy and loopy. And weak. Adonal, on the other hand, was always strong like bull.
  • He might not make the team, but if he does, Stephane Lasme will probably be the 12th man.
  • Since the heyday of Chris Mullin, Warriors fans have been dying to embrace any player that vaguely resembles Mully. And by “vaguely resembles,” we mean “is white like.” Mike Dunleavy, Adam Keefe and Vinny Del Negro didn’t work out. Brian Cardinal was a god dressed in nylon shorts though. Austin Croshere will surely match–if not surpass–Adonal’s legendary effort, and with it, his futility. Croshere might be the odds on favorite.
  • There is far too much upside and intrigue surrounding Brandan Wright at this point for him to be considered The Adonal-Deuce, but perhaps if he struggles mightily, he’ll earn a place at the end of Nellie’s bench. Is there any doubt the Oracle wouldn’t go crazy if they see the lanky lefty checking into the game with 45 seconds left of a blowout? Bonus: as we’ve seen with Shawn Bradley, skinny big men are prime targets for posterization. Double bonus: he’s got braces, so that makes him likable. He’s our sleeper!
  • If Wright is the sleeper, then Kosta Perovic is the darkhorse. Very little is known about the 7-2, 250-pound Croatian beast of a man, except that he enjoys a good piece of halibut.

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