The First Annual Say Hey Awards

So apparently, the cool thing to do on the interblognets around the turn of the calendar year is to look back on the year that was. Thus, we’re proud to present the first annual Say Heys, est. 1959.

The “One Shining Moment” Award for the Best Montage: the new pre-game introduction video at the Warriors games

The 2 Girls, 1 Cup Award for the Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: 756!

The Max Power Award for Best Nickname: Stephen Jackson, aka Captain Jack

The Baron Davis Award for the Best Beard: Baron Davis

The Rod Beck Award for Most Lovable Giants Pitcher: Matt Cain

The Atlee Hammaker/Salomon Torres Award for the Most _____ Giants Pitcher: Barry Zito (Runner-up, somehow: Trent Dilfer)

The Teri Schiavo Award for the Most Overexposed Vegetable: Barry Bonds

The Harry “Holy Cow!” Caray Award for Best New Catchphrase: Jim Barnett, “YOU’VE JUST BEEN MBENGA’ED!”

The “Who Let the Dogs Out” Award for the Most Tired Catchprase: Mike Krukow, “Grab some pine, meat!”

The Mariah Carey Award for the Most Soothing Voice: Jon Miller, again and again

The George W. Award for the Most Cluelessly Transparent Leader: Mike Nolan

The Pam Anderson Award for the Biggest Bust: your 2007 San Francisco 49ers (Runners-Up: Patrick O’Bryant, Alex Smith, Barry Zito)

The Thomas Jefferson For the Increasingly Most Overrated Genius: Tie, Brian Sabean and Billy Beane

The Chris Benoit Award, Proving that Steroids Don’t Always Work: Three-Way Tie: F.P. Santangelo, Matt Herges and Jack Cust

The ET Award for the Man Who Looks Most Like ET: still one Felipe Alou

The Fuck Lion Award for the Biggest Beast: Patrick Willis (Runners-Up: Matt Cain, Tim Lincecum, Baron Davis, Nick Swisher)

The Moment of the Year: The. Dunk. Obviously.


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