Some TV Guest Appearances We’d Like To See

April 20, 2007

As you may have heard, Clyde Drexler is the requisite professional athlete featured on this year’s version of ABC’s Dancing With the Stars, following in the dancing clogs of Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice. But is it just us, or is the choice of Drexler a little, um, boring? Now, we didn’t watch the show the other night, but he certainly hasn’t stolen the headlines like Heather Mills McCartney, who has one leg.

Anyway, the whole Drexler choice got us thinking(!). What other shows could benefit from a celebrity cameo, sporting or otherwise? We aren’t super big television fans, but we’re pretty sure that if some of these changes were to be implemented, television would be a bit more interesting.

What cameos would you like to see? Just one more thing to think about while thank your lucky stars you weren’t on a British Airways flight recently.

American Idol: Well, we know that Barry Bonds and Greg Anderson won’t sing (zing!), so maybe the best bet is to get some good judges who will fly off the handle, like Bobby Knight and Billy Martin. Another good idea is the ultra-ghetto athlete, like a Stephen Jackson or a Pacman Jones. Can’t you just see this scene:

Jones [slouching in his chair, slowly leaning forward]: “That song was a-ight, bitch. But here’s what you shoulda gone and done.”

[Camera cuts to Pacman “making it rain.”]

Whose Line Is It Anyway?: Michael “This Ain’t My Crack Pipe!” Irvin. Self-explanatory, no?

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Somewhere In Heaven, Mother Teresa and Joan Of Arc Are Shaking Their Heads Disapprovingly

March 22, 2007

You know, throughout history, the Catholic Church has been at the epicenter of many an embarrassing scandal.

The Spanish Inquisition.

The persecution of Galileo Galilei (how’s that for an I-told-you-so?).

The Mary Magdalene and gnostic gospels cover-up.


The possession of enough wealth to feed sub-Saharan Africa for a week. Vow of poverty my ass…

And of course, the whole “sex abuse by priests” thingy (pun only halfway intended).

But this is up there.

Don King, the sleazy boxing promoter/windbag who once ran a gambling ring and was convicted of killing two men (for which he only served four years), had a one-on-one audience with Pope Benedict XVI. That’s the real pope!

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