Scottie Pippen To Play Again … In Finland. The Country.

September 20, 2007

We know that this isn’t exactly related to the Bay Area, but since we A) are in a Euro basketball mood and B) love all things Finnish, we couldn’t resist: 41-year-old Scottie Pippen is going to play professionally for Finland’s Helsinki-based ToPo team:

Former Chicago Bulls player Scottie Pippen is close to signing a two match deal with Finland’s Torpan Pojat (ToPo), the team said on Thursday.

The plan is that Pippen, a six-time NBA champion and now 41 years old, would play in ToPo in December or January.

“We are discussing details now, such as when and in which matches he will play,” ToPo’s general manager Aleksi Valavuori said.

“He would be the best player ever to have played in Europe.”

He declined to reveal how much Pippen would be paid for the two matches, but said it was not a six-figure amount in euros.

Geez, Scottie, not even making six-figures? If the photo above is any indication—which it clearly must be—at least the 6’9″ black man will totally fit in there.


Um, Hey, Yeah, About Those New Sharks Uniforms … They Seem Like They Have Nice Personalities

September 19, 2007


A couple weeks ago, we revealed the new Sharks logo, complete with goldenrod eyes and cartoony meanness.

Yesterday, the Sharkies finally unveiled the actual uniforms; the biggest difference is the incorporation of the goldenrod stripes as the main accents. You’ll remember—or not—that the Sharks’ old accent was silver. We prefer the silver to the burnt orange.

In our best Ralph Barbieri voice: “Go Sharks.”

Also, as you may be able to surmise from our trimonthly hockey posts, we’re not the biggest hockey connoisseurs, so if you know hockey or can write with a computer, drop us a line. Canadians also welcome.

Cry of the Fishmonger Special Report: Sartorial Splendor [SFist]

The Moment You’ve All Been Waiting For

July 18, 2007

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Waiiiitttt …

The San Jose Earthquakes of the Major League Soccer, um, league will return to the Bay Area in 2008!

Unfortunately for you six Earthquakes fans (we kid, we kid), the reincarnation of the team will be an expansion team, not a return of the previous version, which is currently winning championships in Houston under the alias “Dynamo.”

As we are wont to do with most soccer issues, we consulted our resident soccer gazeteer/avid goal scorer Brendan McCarthy on the matter. Here’s what he had to say:

It will be difficult, as we don’t get back our championship team (see: Houston Dynamo), we have no stadium built yet, and the league has improved since our last go-around. But the Oakland A’s owner is driving it (good or bad?), and there is an interesting idea around that the team could “float” around the area playing in different venues for different type games, including Kezar for a small game, etc. I personally think it’s rad (yes i did) that an MLS team could play at Kezar one game and the Coliseum the next. Should build a bigger base for the franchise. Go Quakes!

There you have it. We must admit that there is no venue in the city that gives you that “old school San Francisco” feeling like Kezar. If only the Niners would play one game a season there. That would be fun.

Anyway, now that David Beckham is playing in LA, soccer will totally be popular by 2008.

Soccer aftershock: Quakes coming back [SFGate]

If Only Stephen Jackson Could Do This

July 13, 2007

Soccer has a lot going for itself. For example, we like any system that punishes crappy teams by demoting them to Triple-A. We also enjoy the red card and think it imperative that baseball, basketball and football incorporate it into their respective rulebook.

Maybe someday, people will play soccer in America.

[via The FanHouse]

Which Teams Have Had The Most Steroid/HGH Users?

June 25, 2007

To the best of our knowledge (actually, this site’s knowledge), 56 Major League baseball players have been known (or highly suspected) to have taken steroids or HGH, either by positive tests, their own admission or others’ implication. But which teams have been at the center of the steroid maelstrom?

To answer that question, we’ve put together the first-ever Steroid Standings. We merely took the team of the player in question and tallied the results. However, it only counts if the incident occurred while the player was on the team. For example, Jason Giambi admitted (in the leaked grand jury testimony) to have used a myriad of BALCO boosters while a member of the Oakland A’s, so he counts to Oakland’s total, not the Yankees’. Conversely, Juan Gonzalez was implicated twice, once while a Ranger and then as an Indian; he counts for both.

Again, the players in question are merely a result of what’s been in the media and not meant to imply guilt. Some of the implicated users are from the Grimsley case and BALCO case, while others are from Jose Canseco’s book (which obviously should be taken with several grains of salt). An asterisk (*) signifies a positive drug test and a double asterisk (**) signifies an admitted user. Here are the Steroid Standings:

  • Baltimore Orioles, 7: Rafael Palmeiro*, Jason Grimsley, David Segui**, Miguel Tejada, Jerry Hairston, Brian Roberts, Jay Gibbons
  • Oakland A’s, 6: Jason Giambi**, Jeremy Giambi**, Jose Canseco**, Mark McGwire, Ozzie Canseco, Randy Velarde
  • Tampa Bay Devil Rays, 6: Wilson Alvarez, Dave Martinez, John Rocker**, Tony Saunders, Alex Sanchez*, Juan Salas*
  • Texas Rangers, 5: Juan Gonzalez, Ivan Rodriguez, Jose Canseco, Gary Matthews Jr, Carlos Almanzar*
  • San Francisco Giants, 5: Barry Bonds**, Bobby Estalella**, Armando Rios**, Benito Santiago**, Marvin Benard
  • New York Yankees, 4: Gary Sheffield**, Jim Leyritz**, Roger Clemens, Matt Lawton*
  • Seattle Mariners, 4: Bret Boone, Jamal Strong*, Ryan Franklin*, Mike Morse*
  • New York Mets, 4: Yusaku Iriki*, Guillermo Mota*, Felix Heredia*, Lenny Dykstra

Obviously, the numbers are skewed based on where the steroid busts/implications have been, so teams with the BALCO guys (Giants), the Grimsley guys (Orioles) and Canseco (A’s, Rangers) have inflated stats. The Mets and Mariners have had the most positive tests though. Food for thought.

List of Steroid & hGH Users in Baseball [Baseball’s Steroid Era]

Clip Of The Day: It’s Like Beach Volleyball But With Shuttlecocks

June 20, 2007

We don’t know which side is which, or who is winning, but this rally from a badminton contest between the Chinese Zhang/Gao duo and the Indonesian pair of Widi and Nats is nothing short of amazing.

For those of you unaware, Zhang/Gao are like the Kobe and Shaq of the badminton circuit. Zhang is a rotund power hitter, while Gao is the young, up-and-coming, svelte stroker with an ego to match his talent. On the other side of the cocknet (that’s what it’s called), we have the Indonesians, who are the Cinderella story of the 2007 Badminton Open. Think of them as the Billy Beane-era Oakland A’s: severely underprivileged yet wildly successful.*

Think whatever you want of badminton, but this rally is pretty ethereal. They almost seem like Jedi knights, ruthlessly wielding their light sabers.

*This entire paragraph is made up.

[Video via Das FanHaus]

Reason #3,529 Why The Giants Are Better Than The Dodgers

June 12, 2007


A Spice Girl will never frolic on the field at Pac Bell.

[Photo courtesy: AP/Mark Avery]