The First Annual Say Hey Awards

January 5, 2008

So apparently, the cool thing to do on the interblognets around the turn of the calendar year is to look back on the year that was. Thus, we’re proud to present the first annual Say Heys, est. 1959.

The “One Shining Moment” Award for the Best Montage: the new pre-game introduction video at the Warriors games

The 2 Girls, 1 Cup Award for the Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: 756!

The Max Power Award for Best Nickname: Stephen Jackson, aka Captain Jack

The Baron Davis Award for the Best Beard: Baron Davis

The Rod Beck Award for Most Lovable Giants Pitcher: Matt Cain

The Atlee Hammaker/Salomon Torres Award for the Most _____ Giants Pitcher: Barry Zito (Runner-up, somehow: Trent Dilfer)

The Teri Schiavo Award for the Most Overexposed Vegetable: Barry Bonds

Read the rest of this entry »


The Bay Area Did Not Win A Professional Sporting Contest In October

November 5, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. After this past summer of painful baseball at Pac Bell and the Coliseum, we really didn’t think it could get worse.

We were wrong.

During the month of October, not one sports team in the 415 or 510 area code won a single game. (And November ain’t off to such a hot start either.)

  • A’s: n/a
  • Giants: n/a
  • Warriors: 0-3.
  • 49ers: 0-4.
  • Raiders: 0-4.
  • For the heck of it, we’ll even toss in Cal football: 0-3.

Conclusion: it’s time for the San Francisco Rumble and the ABA. That, or hockey.

Nick Swisher Is Awesome.

September 18, 2007

During the first inning of Sunday’s game against the Rangers, Nick Swisher showcased one of the better mound assaults we’ve ever seen.

The background: Swisher hit a home run in each of the first three games of the four-game series. When Vicente Padilla hit him in his first at-bat on Sunday, it was the third time in the last three games that Swisher had been hit, so Nick being a real man, he charged the mound like no other.

The dropping of the shoulder really makes it special.

UPDATE: Padilla suspended seven games; Swisher three.

A Moment To Count Our Baseball Blessings

September 12, 2007 the Giants and A’s wrap up their respective wastes of a season, we’d like to take a moment to reflect on one of the most painful baseball summers in recent history.

But let’s take a moment to consider just how lucky the Bay Area has been in terms of putting out competitive baseball teams over the last two decades.

The last time both Bay Area teams lost 85 games was that magical 1985 season. The Giants are pretty much a shoe-in for 85 losses this year, but Oakland’s late-season “surge” has made it necessary for them to lose 10 of their last 14 games to reach the 85-loss mark.

Why do we mention this? Take a look at the other two-team markets in the Major League and the last time(s) both teams lost at least 85 games.

  • New York: Mets and Yankees lost 85+ games in 1992, 1991.
  • Los Angeles: Dodgers and Angels lost 85+ games in 1999, 1992, 1987
  • Chicago: Cubs and White Sox lost 85+ games in 1999, 1988, 1987, 1986

Not only does the Bay Area have the longest streak going (by far), but since that 1985 disaster–which simultaneously spawned two dynasties (one led by a certain Will Clark, the other by the Bash Brothers)–the three other markets have a combined nine 170+ loss seasons.

Nostalgia: Nancy Reagan Has A Cannon For An Arm

September 7, 2007

Yeah, we’re sticking with the 1988 World Series nostalgia clips. Here we have the First Lady delivering a very important message to the youth of America and then tossing out the ceremonial first pitch.

Seeing that “pitch” makes us realize that Nancy Reagan was almost a real-life, female version of Mr. Burns (albeit not evil … probably).

[Kidding aside, we think she did a very nice thing in bringing the whole “Say no to drugs” campaign to the country and we wouldn’t wish to imply otherwise.]

Nostalgia: The 1988 Oakland A’s World Series Lineup

September 5, 2007

There’s something about old baseball footage that just makes you tingle.

Other thoughts: Dave Stewart was a badass.

Glenn Hubbard!

Two Jose Canseco cameos today? Yeah, we’re scared too …

By the way, how did Game One of the ’88 series turn out?

Jose Canseco Was An Idiot, Is An Idiot

September 5, 2007

When we get depressed with life, we take some delight in remembering that there’s always a Jose Canseco or two (get it? his twin Ozzie? eh?) out there, roaming the empty streets of a Miami suburb, trying desperately to remember where he got “those awesome hamburger tacos” last Tuesday.

And then we remember that he’s a best-selling author with another book on the way.

[Via the good folks at 100% Injury Rate]