Clip Of The Day: Ode To The Broncos

August 13, 2007

Since there were no Giants games over the weekend (there weren’t), here’s one more football post.

Tonight: 49ers v. Broncos at Bill Walsh Field, 5pm West Coast time, ESPN

[Sidenote: the Giants couldn’t really get swept in a five-game, bicoastal series against the worst team in the league, could they?]


Bay Area Stars Get Simpsonized

July 30, 2007

With the recent hubbub over The Simpsons Movie, we decided to take a page out of the Boston Globe’s book and applied the treasure trove of time-wasters, the Simpsonizer, to your favorite Bay Area superstars and ours, from Senor Bonds to Baron to Miss Jessica Alba and more…

Barry Bonds:


Nick Swisher:


Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Still Good! It’s Still Good!

May 10, 2007

[Homer and Bart chase after the roasted pig Lisa pushes with the lawnmower, and it goes through a bush.]
Homer: It’s just a little dirty. It’s still good, it’s still good…
[The pig goes across a road, hits a wall, and flies off the rotisserie grill and into the river.]
Homer: It’s just a little slimy. It’s still good, it’s still good…
[The pig goes down river into a dam where it gets stuck. Water builds up and sends it propelling into the air.]
Homer: It’s just a little airborne. It’s still good, it’s still good…

After last night’s tragedy, we really didn’t want to think about the Warriors for at least 24 hours, but despite our worrying ways, let’s not forget that the series isn’t over yet. It’s still good! It’s still good! Here’s why:

1. No disrespect to the Jazz, but we lost those games: Let’s face it, the Warriors could have (should have) won the first two games of the series. The differences: a Stephen Jackson three at the Game One buzzer and some awful free throw shooting last night. The Jazz had the third best home record in the league and a great crowd, yet the Warriors were in a great position to win both games.

2. The Jazz aren’t invincible: Seeing as how the Dubs could have won both games in Utah, is it that out of the question that they return to Salt Lake City for Game Five with the series tied 2-2? The Jazz are just as inexperienced as the Warriors in the playoffs; again, no disrespect, but it’s not like they are the Suns or Spurs.

3. Home is where the heart is: The Oracle’s gonna be roaring. And yellow. Very yellow. We predict Boozer and AK-47 will become frazzled in an emotionally-charged Game Three, as they are prone to do. Oakland has been the best home court advantage in the playoffs.

4. Deron Williams, solved?: Baron had him in early foul trouble and then attacked him again late in the game. Look for Baron to keep attacking throughout Game Three. Derek Fisher may be a wild card.

5. Adonal! Adonal! Adonal!

Finally, some links:

  • Hey, so that happened to someone else last night too! [100% Injury Rate]
  • Terrible free throw shooting? Check. Lack of ball distribution? Check. No easy buckets? Check. Getting outrebounded 60-32? Check. [GSoM]
  • Well, we’re not the only ones that thought last night sucked. Or maybe we’re just not as creative as we thought. And yes, Darius Washington Jr was definitely in the house. [The Big Picture]
  • So, how much money has Matt Barnes earned himself this offseason? Well, for comparison’s sake, Mike Dunleavy Jr. makes $8 million to Barnes’ $770,000, so Matty can probably at least expect a couple mil more per year. [The FanHouse]
  • Looking ahead to next year, the Dubs may have to choose between Matt Barnes and Mickael Pietrus. Who would you take?

Clickery: Special Steroids Edition!

March 14, 2007
  • Evander Holyfield kind of admitted to using “something” to combat fatigue. He also said Mike Tyson used steroids (Mike Tyson, steroids? Geez, you think you know someone … ). He also said Tyson smells bad. Really. We can’t make this up. [Steroids Nation]
  • Gary Matthews Jr. got a new lawyer. If that doesn’t scream “innocent,” we don’t know what does. [LA Times]
  • David Bell was probably on steroids or HGH or something of the sort during the Giants 2002 World Series run. For those keeping track at home, that’s Bell, Bonds, Santiago, Estella and Benard from that team. So far. And now the DA is sending more names to MLB, as Shinjo waits nervously. [ESPN]
  • Sly Stallone is not happy with Australia. After he got caught with banned substances down there, they said he had to take a booting. The Aussies weren’t thrilled about their newfound plague of frogs. [Deadspin]
  • And Barry Bonds likes black medicine balls. [Barry Bonds]